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Cultivate consistency, self-belief, resiliency, and happiness with me through my twice-weekly emails on mindset: https://ritualmindset.com/

How Your Beliefs About Yourself and Your Circumstances Hold You Back

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

I’ve been floodlighted with the truth before by well-meaning loved ones, but never have I ever been bitch-slapped with the truth by a book like I was when I read Overcoming Underearning by Barbara Stanny (now Huson).

The cold, hard truth her words taught me was this:

Like it or not, earning less than you deserve is a result of your…


Why emotional escapism is harmful and how you can process your feelings more productively

I believe that culturally we are suffering from a dwindling ability to feel our emotions.

Don’t get me wrong — we are still experiencing emotions — we just aren’t feeling them. By that I mean when a negative emotion arises, we are doing everything we can to get rid of it as soon as possible.

To illustrate: if you feel let down and your first impulse is to run to the freezer, you’re not feeling disappointed, you’re smothering your disappointment in ice cream. …


Use the power of minimalism through one key question to sustain positive change.

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You shouldn’t risk wasting the effort you put into your habits.

But keeping up old habits is talked about far less than starting new ones, and very rarely is it put in into practice.

Why? It’s boring.

Maintenance doesn’t promise anything new and exciting. The specialness of starting something new has worn off. Maybe you’ve even been jaded by failures along the way.

It seems absurd to me to do all of the work to hit a goal, only to lose the progress you’ve worked so hard for. …


A week ago I posted a piece on Facebook and Instagram in response to numerous comments and stories I’ve seen from both white and BIPOC (black, indigenous, and people of color) people.

I’m sharing what I wrote here because I believe the message is worth spreading, and there is more I would like to add. If you’ve already read it, scroll down to Part II to see what’s new.

If you want to skip straight to the action step, scroll down to Part III of this email to see what YOU can do to combat racism. …


There’s a reason you don’t feel like you belong, despite how hard you try to fit in.

“Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.”

― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

Belonging requires authenticity. And authenticity requires vulnerability.

In order for you to feel true belonging, you must risk rejection by showing who you are, and when you are accepted for your authentic self, you will feel belonging.

The…


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If you’re a citizen in, well, any part of the world right now, I’m sure you’ve already been inundated with news, conversation, and perhaps even worry about COVID-19.

A part of me doesn’t want to mention it at all because I don’t want to add my voice to an already overpowering cacophony. But there has been a lot of misinformation circulating about how to keep yourself safe, and ethically, I can’t allow that to appear on my radar without calling it out.

Specifically, there are a lot of posts and articles on “boosting” your immune system using everything from questionable…


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I still fall victim to the very thing I coach others on.

Nutrition, weightlifting, and health (including recovery from an eating disorder) have been the main focus of my life for the past five years. They led me onto a competitive bodybuilding stage twice, and into a nutrition and fitness career where I coach others on the importance of accepting your body as a prerequisite to changing it…yet I still fall victim at times to a poor body image.

The majority of the time, I feel comfortable in my clothes and comfortable in my skin, regardless of my weight, body…


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Deadlines and SMART goals aren’t always the productivity panacea or harbinger of results people make them out to be.

There are certain contexts in which it makes more sense to drop the timeline altogether.

For example, while coaching hundreds of fitness and nutrition clients over the past four years, a pattern I’ve seen repeat itself dozens of times now is that the greater rush a client is in to achieve their goal, the slower they progress.

They’ll tell me, “I just have to lose this weight in 12 weeks. I’m going on vacation and I just won’t have a good…


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There’s a lot of misguided promotion for self-love out there, commonly in the form of a post along the lines of “you have to love yourself,” or “put on your own oxygen mask first,” in a whimsical font on a pastel-colored background. Just love myself! Why didn’t I think of that? Wow thanks, I’m cured.

Sometimes posts like these are even followed up with advice to take more bubble baths, get more massages, or have some tea when you feel stressed. Again, I wish it were that easy, but it’s not that simple.

Self-love is not a decision. …


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Picture this: you’re at the end of your diet. You have a huge grin on your face because you’re eating food you enjoy, you’re getting compliments from friends who’ve seen you try every diet under the sun, you’re wearing the jean size you wore in high school…you’re in the perfect body.

Or maybe you’re running your own business, customers are flocking to you, there’s money in the bank, you’re highly respected in the industry…you’ve built the perfect business.

Now STOP.

Back to reality. These dreams of perfection will never come true.

The first thing to know about perfection is that…

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