Search To Rediscover Yourself (Phase 1)
Finding your heart’s desire.
Welcome to Step 1 of my Step by Step Guide of Rediscovering Yourself. Today, we start the digging!
Materials you need
- A journalling notebook (Important! This is your new best friend, to keep track of your progress and ideas)
- An open mind (You will need this too, as you learn to judge less and observe more)
Phase 1: Search
Find your true intentions in life
“Find what you really want, listen to your heart.”
What does that mean? I thought the voices in my head were just my thoughts, stemming from my mind. To me, my heart was just a blood pumper that keeps me alive. I never truly understood what people meant when they say this.
Slightly confused my whole life… until I read the concept of sankalpa from “The Yogi Code”. It helped me wrap my head around what true intentions are. Everything you say and do starts with an intention.
There are two distinct types of intentions:
- Intentions from the mind’s desire (always fickle, usually coming from material gain or ego)
- Intentions from the heart’s desire (always consistent, brings real meaning)
This concept was a game changer! I find it fascinating to observe my thoughts. Once I learn that certain thoughts or actions is just noise from the mind, I was surprised by how easy it was for me to say no to tempting things (unhealthy food, Instagram, Netflix, gossips, news). Differentiating my thoughts this way made it (1) way clearer for me to understand how I should be spending my energy on. (2) Helps me extend my thoughts beyond material, temporary things.
Answers the question of why I am doing what I do. When I need to justify my own actions, I want to answer to my heart, and now I have a solid reason to fall back on.
“In silence there is clarity. In noise there is confusion”
The mind distracts, and it is L O U D. We need to learn how to quiet our mind, to listen to our heart. To dig deeper. This is why I meditate.
Tip to find your true intentions!
Try to find clues from your childhood — if we still like the things we like when we were kids, then the intention is in some shape or form consistent. Speak to your family members about how you behaved as a child, what stayed? What changed? Why did you change?
A recent example to illustrate my reflection on intentions would be my relationship with weight. I love food and I have the tendency to binge-eat. I gained 10 kg when I went to the UK 4 years ago. In the span of 4 years, I tried to lose weight so that I look skinnier and prettier in pictures. No matter how hard I tried I never managed to lose weight sustainably. I thought I was mentally weak because my “habits” did not stick with me… I questioned my intention of wanting to lose weight. Why do I want to be skinny? So people will think I am pretty and disciplined. Okay… Who are those people exactly? People I don’t know and maybe my friends. Okay… Why should people you don’t know matter and which friend of yours will leave you because of how you look? bam. I felt a sense of liberation. Yeah, why should I care about that? When I thought about the consistent people in my life, non of them cared about how I look! That constant noise of wanting to look pretty slowly faded away as I will my heart to say something every time it tries to distract. My heart tells me this:
I want to be healthier for myself, and for the people who care for me. I want to be authentic.
I started making better decisions of how I consume everything. Mentally, spiritually and physically. I don’t spend hours taking hundreds of pictures and spend 2 hours picking and editing anymore… I really don’t have the energy for that. In 6 months I lost 5 kg. I didn’t even realise I lost weight!
- Do a deep dive into your own mind and heart. Try to answer these large questions yourself and jot them in your notebook. See if you can tell if they come from the heart or your mind.
Who am I? What makes me truly happy? What inspires me? What my top values are? Why am I doing what I am doing?
2. Search for more questions you want to answer by watching videos on YouTube, reading books, and speaking to people to guide you through asking yourself the right questions. Personally, I found the most insights when I am reading and learning about philosophy and spirituality. This YouTube workshop on the concept of Ikigai raised many crucial questions.
3. Observe your thoughts and actions for 2 hours and see where they come from, your mind or your heart?
3. Learn the difference between consciousness, mind and brain.
After you have identified what needs to be worked on, you start the next phase of experiments. Be on the lookout for my next article on the most exciting phase of experiments!
Ps: Thank you for reading my Medium article, and for giving me feedback and your thoughts on my last article. It helps me understand who my audience are and what people are looking for. This is for you! Open for discussions and feedbacks. Happy learning! x
Disclaimer: Everything described here is based on my own learning and experience, of what I have learnt and what worked for me. I am not a happiness/ productivity expert, but at the very least I hope to elicit reflections and actions through sharing ideas of how we can possibly be better human beings. The following information is the essence of 6-months’ worth of learning and experimenting from reading books, watching videos, going for (cloud) events, observations of people around me, combined with my personal experience after trying and testing them.