Cool Girl

Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. — Gone Girl

Hey, we’re checking out how hot that girl is. You’re cool, right?

We’re making fun of how ugly that girl is. You’re cool, right?

This party is just us watching porn. You’re cool, right?

Let’s kiss, because guys love watching girls make out. You’re cool, right?

Let’s go to a strip club. You’re cool, right?

I went out with you to win a bet. You’re cool, right?

That was just harmless fun. You’re cool, right?

You’re not seriously offended. You’re cool, right?

A long time ago, I tried it on once, the Cool Girl persona. I thought it would be armor against the indignities casually thrown my way, but it turned out to be a hair shirt, scratching me. It never fit right, and made me uncomfortable as hell, so I threw the Cool Girl away.

Good riddance.