Social Sabbatical: Day 1
PREFACE
This isn’t a new struggle for me (I wrote about it before). Waking up at 1am, mentally wrestling with checking social to see if there were any notifications. Checking my phone every 10 minutes to see updates. When trying to conquer a difficult part of a project, checking my phone went from every 10 minutes, to every 1. While I liked to couch my rationale in “inspiration mining,” it was really seeking affirmation, desiring distraction needing, all driven by my insecurities. Yeah, this struggle isn’t new to me.
I’ve done a sabbatical before; it was life giving. For 30 days, I intentionally traversed the forgotten paths of irl conversations, hangouts, and focused productivity in efforts to fight off my social withdrawals. Since then I tried apps to curtail my usage. SelfControl, a Mac app, was my constant companion. For my Android phone, I used Stay Focused. Both worked well, but over time — despite the apps — I saw my usage of social increased.
I noticed habitual patterns of grabbing my phone. Times were I was relieved I couldn’t check my phone, a forced break. Nightly my brain was tired. When I recalled the day I saw nothing of immense mental exertion that warranted such fatigue. Not to mention the projects that lay waiting for my attention, only to be pushed to the next day. Something had to change… another sabbatical is in order.
And really — there’s no better time than now. Business is ramping down. Family is coming into town. A new year is approaching. So, in order to encourage you I’ll be sharing my daily journey in quick posts to share what’s happening, emotionally, relationally, physically, even spiritually if I feel so led, during this time away from Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook (to be exact).
Day One
It’s been 24 hours and I’m feeling lonely. Because of previous experience, I knew this would happen so I planned a lunch date.
I have a project that I want to finish this morning, and I’m feeling I’m not good enough. Normally I would check all my social apps for validation I was good enough. Those likes, and comments would encourage me to move forward. But since I don’t have that, I’m leaning (even harder than normal) on my personal declarations (which I wrote about over here).
Last night, for the first time in a while, my brain wasn’t tired. At 9pm, I still had energy, which is super rare for me.
I’m looking forward to seeing how this plays out today. My anxiety is a bit heightened, but with prayer, personal declarations, and a lunch date in my pocket I think today will be beautiful and worth the challenge.
