So I went out on Saturday night to a friendly house party. My wife stayed home. It was just a guys thing…you know, one of those parties to let loose. I walk in and as I’m taking off my jacket my friends sees what looks like white powder on the collar of my jacket. ‘Yo, is that coke?’ my friend asks. I stood there wondering why he could be thinking that. ‘Were you just doing lines?’ he continued. So I thought for a minute…yes, I had been in a line earlier today when getting groceries. But how would he know that? ‘Umm…yes, I was in a line today. Why do you ask?’. We both looked confused for a second, then I saw where he was pointing. ‘What? No, no,’ I said, ‘that’s baby formula powder! This was my son’s dinner!’. We both laughed for a while. My friend went back to the party and I proceeded to scoop whatever I could off my jacket because life’s expensive when both parents aren’t working.
So you can see the different places in life my friends and I are in. They see powder and think of coke and I think of baby formula. Granted, it wasn’t too long ago that I didn’t even know baby’s had formula. I kind of thought they ate what we did…why else would there be a kids menu?
That’s when it hit me that my friends that aren’t parents are in a different world than me. As much as I hate admitting it, it’s true. It’s not a bad thing. But even if you were to break down my non-parent friends, they to are in very different places. Some single, some engaged, some married and even some divorced. It’s at different stages in your life that you care about different things. And caring about different things is what drives the conversation. So if I’m talking to another parent, the conversation is around the egregious cost of daycare. But if I’m talking to my single friend, the conversation is around the egregious cost of Uber during surge pricing.
On the subway ride home, I was thinking about all the stories that I was caught up on. All the bachelor parties I’ve been missing, all the parties that included girls doing shots off of one another and all the obscene amounts of drugs and alcohol that has been taken. Did I miss it? Surprisingly not as much as I thought. Don’t get me wrong, I’m only human so I enjoy watching fine young ladies do body shots off each other, or come home at 4am tripping over myself. When my wife was pregnant, I was trying to go as ‘hard’ as I possibly could before the birth of our son. I had this fear that life was about to change and the life I used to know and love, would be filled with boring things I couldn’t relate to. Again, to my surprise, even though everything has changed (i was right about that), it’s still a life I love (I was wrong about that one…first time I’m happy to be wrong). The problem: I was afraid of the future because I couldn’t relate to it. It was only after we had our son that I began to change my definition of fun and boring. There are so many scenes from movies and TV shows I can remember where the parents are these ugly, burnt out people with baby food all over their face. Even though lots of that is true, there’s a fun side. Where boring things like feeding, reading, and playing all look time consuming and annoying to an outsider, are all the reasons I rush home from work instead of going to the bar with friends. Some days I want to escape (I’m only human), but then I take one look at my wife and son and the thought of standing in line for a club just seems empty now. Life is all about phases, this is mine right now.