Guide for becoming a nationalist.

DISCLAIMER:- The guide is just for upper caste Hindus living in the country. Any non Hindu who wants to be a nationalist will have to convert and join RSS but the writer of this post doesn’t guarantee the sure shot success of this procedure.

FYI: Muslims who are reading this guide should know that their situation is hopeless. There is no way present in the whole country that can help them become a nationalist. The only option for them is to immigrate to Pakistan. To have a safe and convenient journey please contact Sadhvi Prachi and Yogi Adityanath, who are the proud sponsors of Pakistan tourism. The links to their Facebook profiles and emails are given below:-

A man is troubled by a plethora of questions during his brief time of existence. It is as if that these questions were just not enough to trouble someone when the situation even got worse. A new question has erupted to haunt the benign men after the JNU controversy. A question which has been on every newspaper, news channel and news web portal for more than fifteen days now. It is, who is an anti-nationalist and who is not.

Finding the answer to this question has been a blood sucking and soul destroying experience for many people. And this guide is for people just like these. It will showcase all finer nuances that the answer contains and will help its readers to escape from being labelled as an anti-nationalist, terrorist or traitor.


Every nationalist has one common dream. A dream of establishing “aakhand Bharat”, which will have Pakistan, Nepal, Bangladesh and even Afghanistan as its territories. Believe in this dream.

Nationalists don’t consume beef. It doesn’t matter if the cow is roaming on the streets, has nothing to eat and is in miserable condition. They ignore the cow and its plight until and unless it is being slaughtered. It can be used for gaining political mileage and lynching people who kill them. Cows are rarely worshipped by them.

A nationalist never criticizes the government and its policies. No matter what the government says or does, they trust its actions and never protest. An ideal nationalist seeks to murder any dissent by the fellow citizens by lynching them or by declaring them as terrorists. For them dissent is against the sovereignty and unity of the country.

It is the duty of a nationalist to suppress and harass the minorities. They are firm believers of the notion that India belongs to just Hindus and citizens of any other religion should leave the country or become their slaves. Even the lower caste Hindus are subjected to discrimination and are deprived of the right to freedom and equality by the uppercastes.

The women of the country shouldn’t go to work. The nationalists confine their wives, sisters and girlfriends to their houses because they believe that women are destined to handle the household works and kids. Women should avoid wearing western clothes because short clothes are the prime reason for rapes. If a woman is raped, the nationalists blame the victim rather than the man or men who raped her.

Say no to porn. Period.

A nationalist trusts every other Whatsapp message regarding social or political issue. Not only this, he also believes in every photoshopped picture and fraudulent video. He won’t check its veracity and source. He forwards them blindly and spreads the false information, facts and figures.

On every Valentine’s day, the nationalists get the opportunity to beat the couples who celebrate their love for each other. They set up tents on the roadside to force these couples to marry. Nationalists think that celebrating love will destroy the culture of their country.

Follow these guidelines to become a proud nationalist of the country.

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