Aline Krisner
Jul 25, 2017 · 2 min read

I as UGLY GIRL

I was considered a ugly girls inside of the little and miserable piece of brazilian society.

The back, dark woman suffering diary agessions and violence from many ways but worth talk here about self esteen. From the brazilian people eye I’m a ugly person since I was born. Race determines affection. The social validation of the men in assume e show to society ONLY a white womam is a question that hurts milions of black and dark woman in Brazil. The culture imposed is: ONLY A WHITE WOMAN WORTHS FOR SERIUS RELATIONSHIP, the black only for sex and clean is a real fact and happens in ALL spaces in the Brazilian Society. I in Brazil “wasn’t worth” for men in my school, church, jiu jitsu gym, neighborhood, anywhere. I was down and depressed in men mindset for many things. My ethnicity didn’t fit in the space of the woman “who’s worth”, don’t matter how wonderful I was, I still am. I lived limited since always, kid, teenager because a veiled racism. I was still judged because I did MY OWN WAY of overcome this situation, I never accepted quiet to be submit myself for this system and accept me in a space only to serve thats only space was imposed to me.

Affectivity of dark skin women is a humiliating topic, thats tortures and hurts all black/dark women and nobody discuss about it. My experience to had grow up in a Brazilian medium class neighborhood made me be viewed as a aberration beacause I wasn’t represented for nobody in the high affetion spaces. My looks was and still is represented only in spaces for server as a sexual, as a clean, cook, etc.

Grow up non white in a Brazilian medium class neighborhood was a strong experience for me por all my ages until I arrived to the point of leave there, because there’s no way to keeping leaving there and accepting all the daily violences.

My own experience made me strong and helped me to forced myself to take decisions thats monst of women in my space don’t have courage and this decisions also made me build myseld, learn to love me and brought me to other world where I have my value reconized. Now I’m looked as a wonderful and fantastic woman I am, independent of my ethnicity. I recognize my privilege to have acess to expensive schools, have good educations, be in jiu jitsu places, and also church from the white, successful neighborhood. This doesn’t means I was respected and tolered.

“… to make progress, make sure — first of all — that you’re not really surrounded by idiots.” (Albert Einstein)

Aline Krisner

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Estudante de Arquitetura, escritora, atleta e competidora de jiu jitsu, modelo, blogueira, professora de matemática.