Truth be told, I don’t actually really care too much about any of that. I’ve gotten my life to “workable” and that’s fine. All that bugs me about it, is there’s a sort of reverse causality assumed about the whole thing.

You are living in the land of “someday”.

Someday, when I have a partner, I will eat healthy, manage my finances, etc.

Someday, when I have a partner, I will be much less lonely.

Truth be told, when you are in a committed relationship, you will still experience loneliness at times; relationships are hard work.

I think you are more than capable of being whole, without a partner.

Do you know who Jesus Christ was?

Do you know that his mission was the reconciliation of God to man?

“…Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to you the message of reconciliation.” — (2 Cor. 5:18–19)

You are never alone. God created the universe, he breathed life into you.

But to all who did receive him, who believed in [Jesus’] name, he gave the right to become children of God… — (John 1:12)

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” — (Romans 8:15)

Read the Gospel of John.

See for yourself the truth that when you pray, you can call God “Baba” or your own Father, when you have received the forgiveness of Jesus Christ.

God bless you, as you make this most important decision.