You’re post is both honest and very well written. You’re a great writer, keep going.
I myself converted from Islam to Atheism to Agnosticism to Christianity.
The way you described being exposed to worship for the first time is extremely accurate; very emotionally moving.
I reacted differently from you, however. You grabbed onto what your feelings were telling you without letting your mind in on the discussion. I understand you were 13, but it seems you haven't truly overcome that hurdle in regards to philosophy.
I have always been very intellectually driven as opposed to emotionally driven (I had plenty of addictions, like lust and marijuana, which I rationalized) so it was hard for me to accept the concept of an invisible being.
It took 8 months for me to convert, and an additional 3 to fully recognize the truth of the history of Jesus of Nazareth and the Bible.
Philosophy and Logic
Here’s how the Law of Non-Contradiction works: 2 things which differ cannot both be true in the exact same way at the exact same time.
If I tell you there’s one God, and you say there are many, we cannot both be true.
One of us is right, or both of us are wrong.
Either every religion is wrong, or one of them is right and true, because they are all fundamentally different; they may look superficially similar to the untrained eye.
For example, Heaven and Hell are only in Judaism, Christianity and Islam; Hinduism and Buddhism claim reincarnation.
I would sincerely consider choosing a belief system via logic, not feelings.
Jesus was a real person, who had real disciples, who wrote accurate historical narratives on his life and their experiences. They claimed to have seen him resurrected, and died preaching this news.
This is the only religious belief which can be historically verified or disproved, no other religion can meet this standard.
You can’t falsify if Mohammed or Joseph Smith actually had an angel speak to them about God. The Hindu gods are written as mythology and fables!
Morality and meaninglessness
If there is no God, whether you or I choose to kill people or feed them doesn’t ultimately matter.
There is no justice for people like Stalin, Mao,etc. We all become fertilizer, ultimately.
You say you believe in God, but if this being you supposedly worship is just a creative, personal ideal.
You have no external basis for your “god", therefore it is a false belief.
God only had one, unchanging character. It is found in the 66 written records confirmed by Jesus and his divinity, now known as the Bible.
If we are not created apart from other animals, why is any human life more valuable than a cow or a dog?
Why not euthanize the elderly, the handicapped and the homeless?
Who decides what’s right or wrong? Individuals, governments or kings?
Homosexuality is not a sin
Committing homosexual acts is.
One of my biggest addictions is lust. I’m not naturally wired to have just one sexual partner the rest of my life.
My heterosexual activity was a sin. God condemns bestiality, incest, adultery, fornication and sodomy.
What is Truth?
The Bible says all have sinned and fallen short of God’s standards.
The punishment for sin is death, and ultimately Hell.
Because God loves you, even when you turned your back on him, he offers you forgiveness.
Being perfectly Just and Merciful, he took the punishment by being tortured on the cross as the God-man Jesus Christ.
He asks you to repent, stop sinning, and enter into a love relationship with Him as your Lord and Saviour.
By acknowledging all these, you will be granted entrance into Heaven, free of charge.