Self-Love, Sexuality, And Your Health
How Increasing Your Self-Esteem Increases Your Health And Sexual Satisfaction
How does self-love and reclaiming your sexual prowess support your physical, mental and emotional health? As women we are blasted daily with images and ideals that are contradictory, disempowering and hurtful. These shaming messages- that we aren’t good enough, that sexuality is only useful if it helps us ‘get our man’, or that we are somehow deficient if we don’t look like the models that are touting perfectly slim and kittenish bodies, we are somehow unworthy of love and personal expression.
How do these messages land for us as women? The statistics paint a dismal picture. Take a look at these headlines: “Shocking Body-Image News: 97% of Women Will Be Cruel to Their Bodies Today”, “Why Do Women Hate Their Bodies?” and “What Women Really Think About Their Bodies”. And what do these stories reveal? A scant 14% of us actually like our bodies (just the way they are); 10 million of us suffer from eating disorders; and 97% of us admit to having at least one “I hate my body” moment per day. Pretty shocking. So now the kicker- how does this affect our love life?
One recent study shows a direct link between body self-esteem and sexual satisfaction. The article states something we already know, that “women in western cultures are objectified to a greater degree than are men, in that women’s bodies are looked at, evaluated, and sexualized with greater frequency.” It goes on to share evidence that poor body image can lead to lower levels of sexual satisfaction. In another study of more than 3,000 women, positive body image was predictive of sex, orgasm, initiating sex, trying new sexual behaviors and confidence in giving partner sexual pleasure.
Well, ladies, what are we to do to combat all this negative messaging and reclaim our passions — for ourselves and for our sexual pleasuring?
Fitness aimed at boosting your body confidence is on the rise. Many techniques exist, from pole dancing to belly dancing, and each approach provides unique benefits that help us reclaim our innate self-worth and brazen courage. Here in Austin, one local expert, Serena Hicks of Bon Bon Barre, shares some key tips for building both your body confidence and your sense of sexual daring:
1. When in doubt — booty OUT. In the pole room this helps aerodynamically as you are spinning, climbing, inverting, dancing. Outside of the pole room — it reconnects you with your feminine power and/or makes you LOLZ.
2. Slow the EFF DOWN. In the pole room and out. Hurrying = NOT connected to your feelings, experience and body’s innate wisdom. Also, if you’re hurrying while dancing you likely look as disconnected as you feel.
3. STOP TRYING. You can only allow a great dance. You make space for it, you train for it, but you can’t force it. Same thing in life… you can prepare for your dreams, you can work for them but you can NOT force them into reality. You can allow them to manifest and celebrate whatever form they arrive in.
Hicks, originally from East Texas, is an S Factor graduate and she encourages you to take baby steps- these can include looking in the mirror and blowing loving kisses to yourself, shaking your booty for your own sensual pleasure, or signing up for a pole fitness class for beginners. She admonishes that a change in confidence is assured as you continue to take small steps that boost your confidence over time.
And what’s this worth to you? Self-love, for sure. Definitely less negative self-talk. More passion. And as a side benefit? More bravery and oomph to get what you want in the bedroom. Are you worth it? Absolutely!
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