Flashback 1986

Tonight is my 30th High School Reunion.

I am not going.

I have no desire to mingle with people I haven’t seen in decades and make small talk about their kids or latest medical scare.

Plus, I wouldn’t have much to contribute in the way of conversation.

My life has been nice but it’s not interesting to me anymore.

So I doubt it would be interesting to anyone else.

Mostly, I don’t want to go because it seems so sad to be celebrating a relatively minor milestone in my life.

Sure, at the time it was fucking fantastic to know I had my diploma and could get the hell out of that town.

But I went back years later to live there for a while,

Willingly.

Instead of it being a romantic homecoming,

It only reminded me why I left in the first place.

So, I’m pessimistic that the romantic vision of a ‘wonderful reunion’ will ever be,

No matter how many decades go by.

We all get beaten down and bloated.

Fed up with life.

I suppose a few are truly happy with who they are.

That’s cool.

But I’m so busy trying to figure out what the hell I’m still doing with my life,

I have nothing to report right now.

I certainly don’t have anything to broadcast to a room full of old classmates.

So,

I will sit at home, writing, thinking, plotting and doing.

Postponing the celebration until I have something to shout from the rooftops

in exaltation and glorious relief.

They’ll hear it.

Even if they all aren’t in the same room, at the same time, taking about the same thing.

I hope they will smile and say, ‘I knew she was exceptional!’

That would be nice

and definitely worth celebrating.