Naive and Tainted

So, I realized something today.

Ok, I realized a lot of things today

but I’m going to talk about one right now

since I like to keep things simple.

Whilst perusing Facebook, I came across a post about

George Rodenbach.

I hadn’t heard of him either

but according to this article,

he was a Belgian poet and novelist

who wrote a book

called Bruges-la-Morte.

Which got me thinking about the movie, In Bruges.

I adore that movie,

despite the gruesomeness.

I wondered why,

since I’m usually not a fan of violence.

I realized that I love that movie because

Colin Farrell’s character is both

naive and tainted.

Kind of like ‘sweet and sour’ but deeper.

Not a coating on chunks of deep-fried chicken.

An inherent coupling of two seemingly opposing states of being.

I have wrestled with the same dichotomy of being.

One moment flabbergasted that someone doesn’t have my best interests in mind.

The next moment remembering a time when I manipulated someone else

to get my way, to their detriment.

So, what do I do with this realization?

Become more naive (is that even possible?)

or more tainted until I just don’t give a shit anymore?

I don’t know.

Perhaps that’s what maturity is.

Keeping a sense of naivete

while honing the use of your experiences

until you are

a

total

badass

ninja of life.

Yeah, I think I’ll strive for that combination from now on.