BE INTERESTED NOT INTERESTING
Part of a human being is always wanting to fit in within a group, to be loved, admired and listened but this part of human being is hidden deep under layers of skin and needs to be called by others. Everyone now a days wants to be interesting rather than interested. Everyone is too focused on itself that one forget to notice others around him. People find pleasure in talking about themselves and not listening to the world around him.
Dale Carnegie is a famous developer of courses like self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. He has repeatedly emphasized on BEING INTERESTED in one his books” How to win friends”. He said
If we want to make friends, let’s greet people with animation and enthusiasm.
What this phrase actually means? Does it mean to show people your abilities or listen to them? Do people really need anyone to be interested in them? Let me illustrate this with one of the examples of my life. I have a large friend circle and every friend is special to me. Yesterday I was reading dale Carnegie book and I had a thought that do certain phrases like Hey, What’s up, What’s going on now a days, had really an impact on others? I thought to implement the idea so I picked up my phone and texted my friend and you know what I realized that all this really has great impact on people. They want us to ask them about their day, their routine and life. If you become interested in others that will automatically make you interesting.
Whenever someone is unwell we usually visit him and ask how did it happen? How is he feeling? Have you ever noticed why we do this? We do this so that the person may feel better by having someone to talk with. What makes a two years old child love his parents more than anything? It’s the love and interest of his parents in him that the child shares everything with them. So the most powerful weapon in the world is to get interest in other fellow beings and ultimately you will have your own part.
Alfred Adler, the famous Viennese psychologist, wrote a book entitled What Life Should Mean to You. In that book he says
It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.
I think there is a need of such people everywhere to whom one can talk about one’s self. This is going to help both the listener and the one who speaks. Rather than focusing on what you lack focus on what others have and give them the pleasure of telling you about it and just see how their faces lighten up. Interested people win us.