Three Body Language Signals of Non-Authenticity Which Can Be Interrupting Your Body Language Attraction
In this informative article, Ten Unmistakable Habits of Utterly Authentic People, Dr. Bradberry lists traits of authentic people. Bradberry says, “To live authentically, you must own your actions and ensure that they align with your beliefs and needs.” His list of traits make sense. We can all strive to be more authentic in our lives and in our actions. We will attract friends, clients and partners more easily when being authentic.
Flip this around for use in relationships. While it is important for us to be authentic, it is also highly important to recognize when someone you are with isn’t being authentic! The key is in the alignment of beliefs and needs. If someone doesn’t feel in alignment with what they are saying, their body will tell you. You need to develop the ability to listen with your eyes!
Watching others closely will give your limbic brain (i.e. your emotional brain rather than your analytical brain) a chance to read and react to someone’s subconscious behavior. If you have a gut feeling from your limbic brain telling you something isn’t quite right (i.e. authentic) with a person, your gut is probably reacting to incongruous movement. Look for these three subconscious behaviors which signal low authenticity:
1. Puppet-like gestures. Moving the arms and head with no core or torso involvement looks in-authentic. When people aren’t being authentic to how they truly feel or are even being untruthful, you will see gestures that look disconnected, possibly stiff, or mannequin-like.
2. Ants-in- their-pants. Lots of shifting or moving around can set off your limbic brain because all the extra movement probably doesn’t go with what they are saying. This can be from trying to play a role they aren’t comfortable with. The individual may not like the part of public speaker, salesman, or tough manager and these feelings are making them less than authentic.
3. Looking away. Too much or too little eye contact is often linked to lying. It can also be a sign of less authenticity. Watch for the whole body turning away or closing down as well. Sometimes we make ourselves keep eye contact, but the rest of the body gives us away that we aren’t 100% truthful.
When do you end a relationship due to a negative gut reaction? It’s up to you, but give the person a couple of minutes to relax and become authentic. Most of us are a little nervous on first meeting someone or starting a speaking gig, etc. If, however, the nonverbal behavior does not improve, you will probably not trust them and it is a waste of your time to continue the relationship.