I become an unlikely advocate for male masturbation — I recently saw a British male comedian taking the piss out of a machine that gave blow jobs. The upshot was you’d have to be truly pathetic to use such a device. When I was a teenager in the nineties, teenage boys regularly talked about masturbation, or wanking as we…

Learning to manage my irrational side — My chimp is called Princess Sparkle Pants. Although she’s my chimp, she’s actually a unicorn. A white unicorn with pink hair and a rainbow horn. She also wears silver sparkly Ugg boots. It won’t surprise you to learn she likes being the centre of attention. She is funny and silly…

Eureka, this (pseudo)scientist has done it. I’ve found – invented – a new equation just for you. — I recently read somewhere (probably on Medium) hard work is the key to success. I’m afraid that’s a right wing capitalist myth; designed to keep the rich rich. And the rest of us in the our designated place in the pecking order. I’ve had 42 years of moderate success in…

A trip inspired by Jack Whitehall — Let’s face it, Lockdown was bleak. Even for those of us juggling work and homeschooling, there were long periods – periods when we would’ve been at the gym, the cinema, out with friends – when we were bored. …

How to taste gin like a pro — The evenings of lockdown were long. There’s only so much Netflix you can binge. By mid April 2020 – about three weeks into lockdown – I was so bored I spent an entire day making a rainbow out of heart shaped pieces of paper. Thankfully, lots of enterprising companies started…

Wading into a gunfight armed only with ocean metaphors — I’m going to wade into waters as wide as the Pacific and as deep as the Mariana Trench (and yeah, I did have google the Mariana Trench). There’s been a strong debate brewing on Medium. It started with a tired feminist’s hate of men. It escalated with a certain Penguin…

Roll up, roll up: listen to my sage advice — I joined medium on the 5th March, I’ve hit 100 followers exactly one month later. Partnership programme unlocked, I look forward to being able to buy a can of beans a month (if I’m lucky) with my earnings. I’m in the stage I’m sure so many of us have been…

Writing is doing something wonderful for my relationship with my son — When my son was little, we would spend hours together drawing. Not coloring, drawing. I hate coloring. It’s for people to stay in the lines both literally and metaphorically. So, we drew. From scribbles to faces, to trains, hunched over a small toddler table. For years drawing was a constant…

Getting on the Atomic Habits bandwagon — Like everyone else on Medium I’ve read Atomic Habits by James Clear. Also like everyone else I’ve tried to incorporate it into my life. On the plus side it works. On the downside it’s ruined my socks. My focus has been on habit stacking. James Clear also writes about developing…