(per-warning this is no where near finished its just a short story for now. I just wanted someones opinion on it so far. I do one day hope to make this a full book if people like it. please give your honest opinion and critiques so that I can improve my writing.)
That’s all she heard in the thick semi-isolated forest. It’s the dead of night, in the middle of summer. A warm breeze lightly flows through her sweat soaked hair. She had just escaped from her captor but not without getting hurt herself. Her adrenalin was pumping. She tried to take a step forward but a searing pain shot through her leg. She took a sharp breath in as she brought her leg back up to ninety degree angle. It’s probably fractured, she though. She was relieved to finally get out of the house that psycho locked her in. She hobbled to the closest tree she could find and leaned against it to keep her weight off her left leg. She thought back to just moments ago.
It was dark in the old broken down house. She rushed out of the kitchen into the living room. You could hear how old the house was by the way the dull wooden floor boards creaked under your feet. There was an old long grey couch sitting in the middle of the living room. It had rips all over and springs poking out of one of the seat cushions. Next to the couch was a side table that had a lamp on top. The side table was so old that the dark brown stain was peeling off of it. She tried to open every window she could find around the house but they were all rusted shut. None of the lights in the house worked completely. The lights would constantly be flickering. He had left her in the house by herself at 2pm every day like clockwork. He comes back at 2am every morning.
It was 1:57am.
He would be back any minute now. She couldn’t take it anymore. Being stuck in this house with a psycho was driving her crazy. She had to get out, and she decided tonight was the night. She stood in the middle of the living room looking for something she could hit him with as a distraction. It was 1:59am. She was running out of time. Squinting her eyes as she looked around the poorly light room, she heard the keys in the lock twisting it open.
He was back.
She had about twenty seconds before he walked in the door. As the door creaked open she spotted the lamp on the side table next to the couch. She grabbed the lamp in one hand, and stood close enough to the door so she could hit him. The door cracked open. Several thoughts were running through her head. What if I miss? What if he gets to me before I can get to him? What if I hit him but it doesn’t work? What if I never make it out of this house? What if I die here? The only sounds she could hear was the door, her own thoughts, and the pounding of her heart. Then without warning the door flung wide open causing the door handle to bash into the wall. Once he got into view she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and didn’t hesitate. She smashed the lamp into his head so hard that the lamp itself shattered into hundreds of tiny little shards. He fell to the ground and grunted in pain sitting on his knees and holding his head. She didn’t care all she wanted to do was get out and now she finally had a chance to escape.
She darted for the door as it was still wide open. Before she was completely out the door and on the porch she felt something grabbing her ankle.
He had gotten up.
Next thing she knew she was laying on her stomach on the ground getting dragged backwards into the house. She started thrashing around and trying to hold onto anything she could so he couldn’t get her back in the house. Then she started kicking and screaming. The little shards of lamp lying on the ground were cutting into her clothes and nicking her skin. He gets so mad that he lets go of her legs but before she could do anything he stomped his foot down as hard as he could on her left leg. In that moment all you could hear was the cracking of the bone and then immediately after that a blood curdling scream. He started laughing maliciously. He turns around and she finds enough strength to roll over onto her back and kick him in the back of the knee. Once he’s down she punched him as hard as she could in his kidney, and made another run for it. Only this time he didn’t follow her. He couldn’t even get up. As she ran away from the house she could see a faint light coming from behind her. Then a long shadow crossed her path.
She looked over her shoulder. He was standing in the doorway grasping his side and hunched over in pain. He was slowly limping across the porch and down the front steps. Panic shot through her veins as her forehead started to sweat. She needed to do something and she needed to do it now. He was slowly inching closer and closer. His pain slowly fading and hers increasing rapidly. She only had a few options as to what she could do as he was closing in. She could run until she finds a side road and hope someone was by some miracle driving past. Or she could switch the roles on him. They were both hurting maybe she could go back to the house and tie him up and leave him there. Then she would be in complete control. Or she could just kill him herself, take his phone and call someone for help. Maybe then she could get back to her mom. The last thing she said wasn’t the nicest. She thought back to that day.
It was the middle of the day right after school on a Friday. She had been arguing with her mom about school. Her grades were fine but her attendance wasn’t.
“Why do I keep getting a call from your school that you are missing classes?” Her mom said in a somewhat aggravated voice.
“Maybe because I’m not going to class.” she retorts back rolling her eyes. This had been going on for a while now and they both have had it with each other. There arguing had turned into a yelling match and she said something that no one should ever say to their mother.
“I wish you would just die already! Maybe then I wouldn’t have to hear you bitching at me about the stupidest shit. I HATE THIS HOUSE!!!!” tears filled her mother’s eyes. The sound of her slamming the front door shook her back to reality. This was just about a month ago. That was also the day she was taken. Tears were running down her cheeks. She just wanted to get back to her mom and apologize. She needed her mom now more than ever.
She heard the snapping of twigs a few yards behind her. She jolted her head back to see just how close he had gotten in the time she was lost in thought. He was almost walking normally now.
There she was. In her blood and sweat soaked tattered clothing. Shards of lamp still in her skin and a fractured leg. Tears still running down her face. She placed her left hand on the tree and propped herself up. Her left leg was bent and slightly lifted off the ground. The breeze blowing through her hair drying the blood and her tears off her face. Everything would change in the next moment and she felt it. She knew it was all going to end soon one way or another. Then she took a step forward with her left leg.
She slowly lowered her foot back down to the ground. Sweat was beading up on her forehead. Her heartbeat was resounding really loud in her ear. You could hear the light crackling sound of leaves as her foot made contact with the ground. She started to run again. Well more like hobble. He was getting closer and close. She had to do something. Frantically looking around for anything that could help her out of this situation she spotted a fairly large branch on the ground about 5 feet away from her. A plan started to formulate in her head. All she had to do was grab the branch and knock him out with it. It would be difficult because she wouldn’t be able to put all her weight into it because she can’t really use one of her legs. Never the less she still had to try. She needed to try.
She started inching closer to the branch. She was so focused on getting to it that she didn’t realize her captor was right behind her. She didn’t hear him coming up behind her until it was too late. With his shadow looming over her he grabbed her from behind and started to drag her back to the house which was now approximately ten yards behind them.
Panic started rising in her rapidly. She tried breaking out of his grasp on her to get the branch. She was so close yet he was too strong for her. His arms didn’t budge as he dragged her back to the house. It took him less than five minutes to get back to the house. All the while she was screaming for help hoping that someone was near. No one came to her rescue. She had to take care of him herself.
As he brought her back into the house he threw her into a little room in the basement. He tied her up and checked her leg. He set it gave her some water then left and locked the door. the only source of light was coming from the cracks in the door. There was no windows, and the walls were made of concert. The only other thing in the room was one little blanket and a flat pillow with yellow stains on it. She scooted close the pillow and blanket and decided to try and rap herself up a little so she wouldn’t freeze to death. All throughout the rest of the night she tried coming up with a plan to get herself out and the only conclusion she came to was that her captor needed to die or else she would be stuck there forever. So that’s way she was going to do. She had to kill him to survive herself.