thank you so much for sharing this. it was really inspirational. i’m gonna try and share a brief glimmer of what happened to me
i really would love to get in contact with you. i started at dartmouth and decided to leave because of my own issues which i believe were intricately linked to how the college itself handled mental illness. or maybe i was just miserable cause my brain was, i don’t know. like you, i found out my childhood was different than a lot of the people around me. or at least i really felt that way, idk, it just wasn’t something people talked about. i just remember the first day of psych 101 when the professor immediately asked us to raise our hands if our parents were divorced and i felt so embarrassed when i noticed how few there were of us and how everyone was staring at us. the message was basically that fucked up kids rarely are capable of the ivies.
later on, the psychiatrist and dean in charge of my ‘care’ at one point actually said i should be required to only take hard sciences so my imagination doesn’t get the better of me in writing classes. if i didn’t take meds there exactly as prescribed by dartmouth, it would have been a problem. they would show up at my dorm at night while i was sleeping and drag me to the hospital for impromptu psychiatric ‘checkup’ and i tried to act my best like that was okay.
i had ‘bipolar type one disorder’ induced by taking adderall for nonexistent ‘adhd’ to keep up with the academic pressure i felt i needed to keep up with at dartmouth. after 2 years on and off and a semester at columbia i eventually ended up transferring to nyu where i could invent my own major at gallatin and try and figure out a way to better the mental health system. its not exactly a money maker degree, and i’m not even sure if its a real degree at all at this point. now i’m a fucked up bipolar 24 year old whose lived in 6 different places since 2008, unemployed and totally confused about how to move forward. thats my issue tho. but hey, at least i still have a 3.9 gpa on paper. oh, and the meds really do not work as well as the commercials say they do.