I am bored.
I am bored at work. I am bored with THIS work. I am leaving at the right time, because honestly my brain is just so bored with this. It’s getting harder and harder for me to be efficient with this work; to lean in and learn and apply. I feel like I’ve explored all the things about this job that were creative challenges, and now it’s just a dull slogging away at tasks and managing information and expectations. The shine has been gone for a while. And now the spark is gone as well.
To live a project-based life. That seems to be what I am better suited for. To go in, have an objective of what I want to accomplish/create/achieve/improve, and then complete that project and move onto the next. Or onto the next PHASE of that same project — the sequel, the season 2, the next big jump or leap that innovates and astounds and revolutionizes. But THIS work I’m currently doing has no innovation left. It is merely filling out forms, filling blank pages with words, copying and pasting and editing and searching and calculating statistics and figuring out how to use demographic info to make a point. There is no art left in this for me.
So how do I get through the next 8 work days? I have a finite deadline. I made promises and I intend to deliver on them by that deadline. But every day is a slog and I am struggling to be productive and focused.
There is so much out there. So much more that I will do. But I am here, right now. And I want to be present and focused and do my best work in the short time that remains here.
I am not a workhorse, I’ve learned. I’m a thinker, a feeler, a creator, an innovator. I thrive on new ideas and alternative ways of thinking and doing. I love projects. I love teams. I love progress.
I do not love slogging away at the same task over and over and over, just to be a cog in the wheel.