“ I contemplated on calling my mom and asking for her guidance on what to do.” I ran into these sorts of problems in 2009 and could not turn to my female relatives as they were not familiar with this world. And male relatives had not walked in my shoes — many think sexism is a thing of the past (as did I for much of my 20's.) I danced the line at work between “you’re not aggressive enough” and “you’re being too aggressive, impolitic, insubordinate.” We need to build a hotline for women in tech to get guidance on navigating the workplace (how to handle supervisors’ minimization of contributions, how to know if we’d been “insubordinate”, genuine feedback was it our own fault or might this be sexism?) before it comes to resignation. Only with Susan Fowler’s confession on the record and Ellen Pao’s courageous public battle could we unearth enough information to construct the next step forward for corporate excellence which may only come when we can harness talent from all populations, races, the best of the best. Yes testosterone can make people aggressive and yes aggression can be a strength in the business world. But aggression without character bleeds into being *proudly antisocial* which is how we get financial meltdowns, and capitalism’s over-toxicity.