What the moon tells us about paypal

Today I looked up at the sky, no later than 11:15 AM, and what I saw hit me in the gut like a bag of rocks. The moon was in conjunction with Scorpio, and as we all know this could only mean one thing — paypal is about to go to the moon. It is well known that the tech industry fluctuates in cycle with the phases of the moon, especially those associated with electronic payments. It was this fact combined with a vision I had late last night during my regular convulsions that led me to this stark conclusion. I saw a rocket ship blasting to space, carrying along paypal to monthly highs. As a Gemini, I realized that this month would bring enormous returns, but only if I followed my investoscopes instructions to the T.