I haven’t written much in the last few months primarily because I have been focused on remaining clean and sober. My drinking and drug use was out of control, moreover, I was living in a state of anxiety and depression that had become unbearable. As a result of this, I decided to take the somewhat drastic step of entering a 30-day inpatient rehab program. A decision I felt was necessary for several reasons. First, I felt like I was stuck in a cycle of behavior and negative emotions that required me to step away from my life and responsibilities for some time. Second, I felt that independently my willpower was insufficient to remain clean, I had to have an environment of support to begin working on myself. Third, I felt that I would benefit from the experience of others who had similar experiences.
Over the last two months, since completing the 30-day program I have been keeping myself preoccupied with various activities. Working a part-time job, and attending an outpatient program has taken most of my time during the weeks. While I have been utilizing my free time to attend 12-step meetings and cultivate a network of people who are working on a program. In all honesty, it has been overwhelming at times trying to balance all these activities; however, I feel that the added structure is necessary to keep me occupied while my body and mind have a chance to feel.
