Random Thought Thread: Are You The One? Season 5 Premiere

Thought #1: Ryan Devlin might seriously be the worst host of any MTV show. More than Nessa on the Challenge reunions and aftershows even too. Johnny Bananas needs to get off the Challenge, and the perfect fit would be to pay him to be the host of Are You The One? and eventually maybe one day as a fill-in for the Challenge if TJ gets sick or busy. Never have the words we need Johnny Moseley ever been non-ironic, except for when Ryan Devlin is on AYTO.

Thought #2: The parent match-making is an interesting twist to open the season with. It seems a bit forced, though these 22 people are forced to find their perfect match anyway, speeds up the pace at least.

Thought #3: The added coupling to this season is awesome. When Christina was the 21st person and 11th girl it was very fun, but this just adds an element of math that for the very dumb cast that is way more interesting than it should be. 10 pairing with 10 weeks is very easy, simple process of elimination. But as we know, every time you add numbers to a total probability or combination lock it just makes it more difficult. Is it weird that on a dating and romance show that I feel we as an audience are actively cheering against the people on the show to win the money. Part of it is that reality television is trash, and that is why we enjoy it. However, we do not want to completely celebrate trash for doing nothing. These people are getting drunk and hooking up, why should they get 50k dollars if they cannot do simple probability or play a good game. The Challenge is incredible because it takes skill, athleticism, personality, and strategy, but the pay-out is nowhere equal in comparison to the ease and luxurious conditions of Are You The One? The AYTO kids are truly spoiled and we just want to watch them lose.

Thought #4: I just talked shit about AYTO, but I truly think it’s the best MTV reality show after the Challenge. It is fast-paced and fun with good looking people. The conversations and relationships are forced, but honestly they’re weirdly more real on a vacation then faked life that is now the Real World.

Thought #5: There is not a super hot guy on this season. Looking at the guys in the line-up we have some cute guys and some handsome guys, but we also have a weird abundance of normal dudes. Osvaldo and Joey were two of the first guys to get name dropped by Ryan Devlin, and while Osvaldo is a bit charming, they’re both physical duds. The girls when all together this season look very stunning, the hair game is very strong.

Thought #6: Kathryn and Ozzy as the two people who want to be teachers and hit it off so quickly that it is a little too weird and forced. If I met someone and we had the same career goal it would be very cool, but I would not assume we were perfect matches.

Thought #7: Joey is very greasy and just lame.

Thought #8: I love the drunkenness of this show and the day one tomfoolery, but is it just me or is there a lack of true sloppy drunks and people knocking out or throwing up? On the Challenge, they do not even give out dark liquors, give them only a bottle at a time, and it’s mostly vodka. On AYTO they stack them with an assortment of liquor, fruit, and mixes that the fact we do not see the pools in the house covered in puke is insane.

Thought #9: Ozzy will not kiss Kathryn and it leads to her sleeping with another guy in front of everyone, not even in the Boom Boom Room. Gotta love alcohol and white girls!

Thought#10: Former fat kid Michael is not that hot, especially compared to handsome Hayden, I do not understand why Gianni(is it Gianni or Gianna?)thinks he is so special. She must really not like Hayden.

Thought #11: The Boom Boom Room and it’s amazing name has never ceased to amaze me.

Thought #12: I love the twists they are bringing in, adding 125,000 dollars to their total if they give up the Truth Booth. If Ryan Devlin wasn’t the one to give them the news, this show would easily be a top 3 reality tv show currently with the Challenge and the Bachelor. All these extra elements and math are so difficult for these people of a lower level intelligence.

Thought #13: Holy shit, they were able to figure out on the first try that they would be too dumb in the long run to take the 125,000 dollars instead of the truth booth. Good job team.

Thought #14: Kathryn and Ozzy have already made-up, I think I am cheering for them. So many up and downs in just one episode, they are the OTP of this episode.

Thought #15: If they get 0 lights their total money sum gets cut in half. This show would be so lit without Ryan Devlin.

Thought #16: There is nothing I love more than when somebody gets pissed over somebody picking the person in the match-up ceremony that they were going to. It’s a game and they only have so many people to pick, sorry.

Final Thoughts: The premiere was really good, but weirdly this season feels very lacking of an immediate star. From other premieres you could tell Anthony, Devin, Kiki, Amanda, Tori, and Asaf were going to demand attention whether it be good or bad. I cannot tell from this season who it is, the most memorable person in any of the trailers for the future weeks was Osvaldo breaking down. That kids looks weak too. Just hoping for a good season.

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