Super Quick Bachelorette Post Premier Power Rankings

Read the title? Let’s go.

1 Bryan 
This dude is killing the game, using his Spanish kills, getting his mouth all over Rachel’s mouth. There’s a good amount of immediate sexual attraction between the two. 
2 DeMario
Considering Rachel was excited for this guy before he came out of the limo, good to see him coming in strong. 
3 Will
The group chat that I am in was commenting on how impressed they were with Will. They thought he was very good looking. 
4 Kenny
Giant with a heart of gold. 
5 Dean
While I am not a Deanie Baby, I enjoy his confidence and Dave Franco lite looks. Certain charm and confidence to him. 
6 Anthony
Man killed it on the “this season on” trailer. 
7 Peter
Good looking in this episode, in my preseason preview, I wrote this guy looks like his face is one that is awesome or bad depending on the angle. Matt Bomer situation. 
8 Jack Stone
Having two names helps you be memorable, Stone being the second name solidifies you as a candidate. Strong. 
9 Diggy
His glasses were simply awesome. 
10 Josiah
Powerful speaker who seems too into himself. 
11 Blake E
A man with a big penis is often a dick. However, he has a confidence that can give them an edge, be the head of the class. 
12 Matt
Not Alexis.

25 Lucas
Whaboom… more like… you’re an asshole. 
24 Fred
I thought it was cute when I heard that Fred has crush on Rachel from when he was younger, but I didn’t know he was 8 years old. That is weird. 
23 Adam
Little Adam was cooler. 
22 Lee
As seen on the this season on, he may not be there for the right reasons. 
21 Iggy
Producers are not going to let Iggy and Diggy be on the same show for a long time, unless they are planning a spin-off between them. 
20 Jonathan Greece 
How did the Tickle Monster get ranked this high? How is he here Week 2?

13–19
Did not make a big impression, or for some reason there’s a giant gap in my memory.

Overall Episode Grades:

Rachel = A+
Our leading lady killed the show. She was smart, beautiful and funny. There was a certain amount of class that Rachel had that we have not seen in a while. She’s an elegant Bachelorette. Rachel was also very fun, going along with the jokes of a ton of guys. As annoying as the Whaboom guy is, when he said that one testicle was slightly bigger than the other, Rachel quipped: “good to know!” I died laughing, what would creep out most, she is going with, and laughing at. I know Raven or Corinne would definitely not have had that type of reaction. Vanessa might have sent him home right there.

Chris Harrison = C-
Was not feeling it from him. My Uncle Chris, usually treats the Bachelorettes a lot nicer than he does the Bachelors. Don’t know how I feel about that.

The Girls in the Opening = C+
It was a joy to see the gals from last season. I would have preferred just to watch Rachel with Raven, Alexis, and Corinne, our fan favorites. I don’t need wallpaper at a time like this.

The Guys = D+
All they have going for them is that I enjoy them more than most of Jojo’s bros from last season. I just need significantly less Whaboom in my life.

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