Truth In Satire

After Trump Says It Wasn’t His Voice On “Pussy” Tape, Americans Ask If It Was His Voice At Inauguration

President calls Access Hollywood tape “fake,” which prompts many to question if his presidency is, too

This may or may not be Donald Trump speaking at the inauguration. (Credit: chicagotribune.com)

Donald Trump recently told two White House staff members that he thinks the infamous Access Hollywood audiotapes, in which he bragged about grabbing women “by the pussy,” are fake. This comes despite Mr. Trump’s admission last fall that the tapes were authentic.

The new revelation, that the president’s own voice may not be his own, has raised serious questions about the identity of the man who took the oath of office for President of the United States last January 20th in Washington, D.C.

If that man was not, in fact, the Donald Trump who appeared to have won the presidential election in 2016, then this entire presidency is a fraud and America has been duped by a political impostor.

Donald Trump says that if you look closely, you can clearly see it’s not him exiting the Access Hollywood press bus. (Credit: accesshollywood.com)

“Donald Trump says that the man on the Access Hollywood tape who’s talking to Billy Bush about all the ways he abuses women is not him,” said an FBI special agent who spoke on condition of anonymity. “We know that the same voice was used by a man who stepped up to the podium pretending to be the president-elect and took an oath of office. We now fear that the wrong Donald Trump showed up for the inauguration and that the country is being dangerously mismanaged by someone who knows nothing about the American system of government and has zero experience to lead our nation.”

That FBI is now reviewing thousands of audiotapes purported to have Donald Trump’s voice on them to determine if they are real or fake. If they are, in fact, the voice of someone pretending to be Mr. Trump, this would necessitate an immediate shutdown of the government until the identity of the man screwing the country is established.

On the positive side, if it is determined that an imitator has been saying many of the moronic things over the past year attributed to President Trump, this might afford an opportunity to salvage some respect for the office of the president and improve America’s standing in the world.

“Andrew Jackson said it, not me!” (Credit: www.grandforksherald.com)

BREAKING: Trump denies calling Sen. Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas” during ceremony at the White House Monday to honor three Navajo veterans of World War II. Says racial slur must have come out of the mouth of the Andrew Jackson portrait above his head. It was Jackson, America’s seventh president, who signed the Indian Removal Act of 1830, which resulted in the deaths of tens of thousands of Native Americans during the famous “Trail of Tears” displacement and relocation program.

****

Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.

–AI