Truth In Satire

Chinese Flock To Streets To See Man They Call “The Pheasant Of The United States”

Curious crowds in Beijing reach out to touch Trump’s hair trying to determine if he is fowl or fellow

The Chinese people are calling the visiting U.S. president “Bird Man” and “Pheasant Head.” (Credit: ftw.usatoday.com)

When President Donald Trump arrived in Beijing on Wednesday, tens of thousands of Chinese took to the streets to find out for themselves if the rumors about his “rooster-like” hair were true.

Chinese children who have never seen a feather-headed president are “flocking” to see Mr. Trump. (Credit: newyorktimes.com)

The Chinese are having great fun with the man they call “Bird Man,” “Bird Brain,” and “Rooster Tail.” Many laughed when they finally got a peek at him.

One onlooker, a man in his 70's, got too close to the president, grabbing a fistful of Mr. Trump’s flaxen hair. Asked why, the man responded, “I use for make bird’s nest soup.”

In a country where pheasants and roosters are considered delicacies, Mr. Trump’s golden feather top has made him instantly popular. The fact that he is also very plump had many of his Chinese greeters salivating in the streets.

Unaware that it might be offensive, a group of Chinese greeted the president with a giant blow-up chicken with golden hair that resembled his. (Credit: Yin ming/ Imaginechina)

But the frequent bird analogies appearing in Chinese papers and on television have sometimes confused people here, too, who have only a rudimentary understanding of American life and history. For example, many yelled out to Mr. Trump in Chinese, “Where is Lady Bird?,” apparently unaware that this was a nickname for the wife of President Lyndon Johnson, and that not all first ladies are hens.

Still others wanted to know where the president’s “chick” was, having heard that Mr. Trump tends to lie in more than one nest.

A woman dressed her little boy as a chicken to impress Donald Trump in the hopes he might gift them with “a golden egg of Trump.” (Credit:www.pinterest.com)

A group of young toughs, aware of the many accusations against the president for sexual harassment, taunted him repeatedly by calling out, “Your cock’ll doodle, too!” They were later chased down and arrested by Chinese security forces.

Perhaps the best example of the Chinese not fully understanding why a man who wants to be taken seriously on the world stage would wear his hair like a bird, came from a woman who arrived with her toddler son dressed in a bright yellow chicken costume. Asked why, she said she hoped that Donald Trump might lay a golden egg for her. “We hear he so rich, he make gold come out of buttocks.”

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Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is no more.

Remember, I read every comment. And I try to answer.

Thank you.

–AI