You’ve seen it advertised on TV and now you can get your very own Trumpy Bear — the super-plush, 22-inch stuffed bruin that looks just like POTUS45 — for only two payments of $19.95 while supplies last.
But, hurry, you must order today before the original Trumpy Bear is replaced by “Trumpy Bear: Prison Edition.” Yes, the moment the final indictments are announced by special counsel Robert Mueller’s office in the weeks ahead, the cute little red tie and corporate cuff-links will be substituted with your choice of a black-and-white, prison stripes tee-shirt or a federally-issued orange jumpsuit — and handcuffs, of course!
The original Trumpy Bear has been selling as fast as POTUS45’s inauguration tickets, especially with the cozy flag-themed blanket stuffed inside its zippered neck pouch.
But that lush flag blanket will soon be replaced with unwashed bed sheets tied together, so you can play a realistic game of “prison break” with jailbird Trumpy Bear. We’ll even update original Trumpy Bear’s beloved, orange combover with a matted tangle of straw to simulate POTUS’ dirty, but much deserved, stay behind bars.
Don’t miss this final chance to show your patriotism by purchasing this collectible Trumpy Bear stuffed animal, complete with a bonus Certificate of Authenticity (jailbird Trumpy Bear will arrive with a sealed indictment listing POTUS45’s impeachable crimes!).
Don’t wait, order now to get the original Trumpy Bear — consisting of a 22-inch tall POTUS45 stuffed animal, a 28-by-30-inch American flag blanket stored in a zippered pouch inside Trumpy’s neck, and a valuable certificate proving this is a real product — all for only two installments of $19.95.
Note: NRA members enjoy a 10% discount. Residents of red states where Donald Trump won the 2016 presidential election by 20 points or more will also receive a 10% discount. Blue state residents will be charged a 30% premium. Act now and preorder the original Trumpy Bear, along with Trumpy Bear: Prison Edition, for a complete set of collectible Trumpy Bears. Visit our website today!
Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is out of our hair.
I read every comment. And I try to answer as many as possible.