Truth In Satire

“Jared Kushner Will Be Filling All My Future Vacancies,” Trump Announces As Resignations Mount

Tired of finding people to fill open positions in his administration, the president is giving his ambitious son-in-law a larger role

The president says that in addition to Interior Secretary, his son-in-law will take over as White House chef. (Credit: gawker.com)

With Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke being the latest to resign and departures from his administration picking up weekly, President Donald Trump has decided to install his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, in all open positions.

Mr. Zinke is the latest Trump official to walk away as investigations mount into his shady dealings as Interior Secretary. (Credit: www.foxnews.com)

“Jared is very smart and very close to me and he will be filling all my future vacancies as they come up,” the president announced on Saturday. “As everyone knows, my administration has been running very smoothly from day one, and now having Jared there to fill the gaps when they happen will be the most efficient and greatest way to keep up our unbelievable record.”

The 37-year-old Kushner is a New York real estate developer who has no experience in government. He is also the male concubine of Ivanka Trump, the president’s oldest daughter.