Truth In Satire

President Comes Unglued: Blames “Trivago Guy” For Failure Of Travel Ban

Says TV pitchman has “convinced the whole damn world it can travel wherever it wants”

Actor Tim Williams, who plays The Trivago Guy in television commercials, was cited by President Trump as “a key figure in a coordinated effort to undermine my great travel ban.”

After President Trump lost his second bid Wednesday night to severely limit travel for certain people based on religion, he wasted no time pinning the blame on an unlikely figure — The Trivago Guy.

At a rally in Nashville on Wednesday night, after his travel ban was halted a second time, the president checked the direction of political wind currents.

“I see this troublemaker on my television like 50 fucking times a day,” fumed the president, after a federal judge put a halt to his revised executive order. “While I’m trying to stop travel, this sick, unshaven sabotager (sic) has every lowlife thinking they can easily book flights and find the ideal hotel for the best price. He’s a travel ban traitor — a very, very bad guy.”

The man in question is an actor named Tim Williams who works as a television pitchman for a German-owned booking site called Trivago.com. While the company does attempt to make travel easier for its online customers, it would have no power to violate a legal travel ban instituted by the United States. Mr. Williams himself has no apparent political agenda and no known reason to willfully undermine a presidential order.

President Trump believes that The Trivago Guy’s disheveled appearance played on Judge Watson’s sympathies for other poor, itinerant foreigners.

When pressed on the issue of how he thought a television spokesperson could sway a federal judge in a matter of national importance, President Trump was emphatic:

“It’s so obvious, just look at the guy — no suit, no tie…no belt even! I know television. You don’t dress like that for television. He’s sloppy. The judge saw that, felt sorry for the wrinkled wanderer, and got all bleeding heart for this poor schmuck and people like him. Suddenly, it’s ‘welcome to America everyone, find a hotel, relax.’ We can’t have this, trust me, it’s not good.”

Federal Judge Derrick Watson speaking to reporters in Hawaii after issuing a nationwide order blocking Mr. Trump’s travel ban. Wow, judgeship in Hawaii — nice gig if you can get it.

U.S. District Court Judge Derrick Watson of Hawaii, who ruled that Trump’s travel order intentionally targeted Muslims and therefore violated the Constitution’s guarantee against religion discrimination, was asked to comment on the president’s charge that his decision was influenced by The Trivago Guy.

“What’s a zhivago guide?” asked the judge, “I’m not familiar with it.”

Attempts to reach Mr. Williams or a representative from Trivago.com for a reaction to the president’s accusations were unsuccessful.

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–AI