Truth In Satire

President Declares National Emergency After Sprinklers Break Down On Florida Golf Course

Mr. Trump said he would pull funds from needy children in Detroit in order to pay for repairs at his Mar-a-Lago resort

Donald Trump walking with federal officials to assess the threat at Mar-a-Lago. (Credit: www.washingtonexaminer.com)

President Donald Trump, vacationing in Florida over the weekend, declared a national emergency on Saturday after the sprinklers at his Mar-a-Lago golf course failed to work.

“They shut down completely,” said a frantic Donald Trump, speaking with reporters from the 18th green. “There was nothing we could do. This is obviously a threat to national recreation, which is why I’m declaring an emergency so we can urgently address this bad situation using federal funding.”

President Trump presented evidence that some of the greens were so dry “you could almost hear the blades of grass screaming for help.” (Credit: www.kcur.org)

The move by the president struck some critics as even more of a non-emergency than his declaration of a national threat on the southern border requiring immediate funding.

“Sprinklers, are you f — king kidding me?” exclaimed Senator Chuck Schumer of New York, the Democratic leader, when told of the president’s latest gambit. “What’s next, a…