Truth In Satire

President Has 7 Tips For Federal Workers Not Receiving Paychecks

The president offered survival advice to government employees who won’t be getting paid this week due to his shutdown

“When you think about it, a wall is more important than eating,” said the president on Friday. (Credit: www.businessinsider.com)

With his self-manufactured government shutdown now the longest in the nation’s history, an out-of-touch President Trump offered seven tips to 800,000 federal workers who will not be receiving a paycheck this week.

Speaking outside the White House on Friday, the president made these useless suggestions:

1. “Borrow from a wealthy relative:” The shutdown will go much easier if you take a handout from a family member, like your father, for example. A temporary loan of $75,000–$100,000 (or more if you can shake them down for another $5–10K) should be enough to get you through this national emergency created by the Democrats.
2. “Have your chef stretch every meal:” A shutdown is no time to put on weight. Letting your cook or chef know that you’re perfectly happy with one capon per meal, not two, or going easy on the extra cheeseburgers, will not only help you save some money but you might shed a few pounds. Now that I think about it, a shutdown is a really healthy thing!
3. “Throw a garage sale:” The Coast…