Truth In Satire

Trump Calls For 6G Technology And Microchip-Equipped Brains For All Americans

The president referred to two tech innovations that do not exist and are considered total fantasies

“Give me more G’s, all the G’s you got!” (Credit: www.gizmodo.com.au)

President Donald Trump on Friday called for the immediate implementation of 6G technology in America, which isn’t a thing.

He also insisted that “in order to make our country truly great, we need all of our citizens to be retrofitted with microchip brain upgrades by 2020.”

An x-ray of Mr. Trump’s head offers insight into why he’s campaigning so hard for brain upgrades. (Credit: ponderingprinciples.com)

Human AI technology also does not exist and most scientists say that the president was referring to developments that are decades away, if not total fantasies.

“I have no idea what he was talking about,” said Dr. Mark Conjuro, Chief of Technology at NASA, and one of the country’s leading experts on tech innovation. “We haven’t even gotten to 5G in this country, so 6G is probably a couple decades away. As far as human beings having fully microchip-enabled brains, the president has been watching too much sci-fi. That isn’t ever going to happen. He’s in dreamland or suffering from some sort…