Truth In Satire
Trump Says He Would Be A More Effective Leader If This Was 1930’s Germany
Tells Fox News, “I have a very decisive management style, very strong — I don’t go for this ‘let’s take a vote, majority rules crap’”
President Donald Trump, irate after receiving heavy criticism for his equivocal response to the white nationalist rally in Charlottesville, VA over the weekend, told a Fox News interviewer that “democracy is, to be honest, a very stupid way to run a country.”
Appearing on Fox & Friends for an extended interview on Monday morning, the president added: “Look, I ran a very successful business for decades, made so many billions, as you know. No way would I have become insanely rich if I had to listen to the stupid opinions of every Tom, Dick and Harry. The great leaders of Germany, Russia, Italy, and Spain during the 1930’s — those guys knew how to make a firm decision and enforce it, even if a few heads had to roll. That’s more my style.”
It was not clear if President Trump understood that all of the leaders of the countries he spoke of, during the decade he mentioned, were brutal dictators — Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Benito Mussolini, and Francisco Franco.
The president went on to say that if he didn’t have to wait for Congress to vote on his initiatives, or answer to the American people, “I could have repealed Obamacare, passed tax reform, built my wall, and bombed the crapola out of Commander Kimchee over there in Korea just a few days after my incredibly well-attended inauguration. At least we’re still getting the amazing ratings, but I won’t be satisfied until I’ve made America great again for every citizen — whether they’re white or other shades of light.”
Asked what he would have done differently to deal with the agitators during the white supremacist rally in VA if he was given a free rein, Mr. Trump said, “I think you know.” Pressed for a more direct answer, the president then replied, “Ask me after I’ve already done it,” another ambiguous response that, nonetheless, got a vigorous round of applause from the three Fox & Friends hosts.
The president ended the interview by saying that he admired the cut of men’s suits during the 1930’s, and would try to recreate the same authoritarian look with his own wardrobe in the months ahead.
He also went on to praise President Vladimir Putin of Russia and Recep Erdogan of Turkey for “knowing when a protester’s right to free speech ends and the skull cracking begins. They both have great police forces and they let them do their jobs. If a few troublemakers konk their heads getting shoved into the paddy wagons, well that’s just the price you have to pay for peace in the streets. And it’s a fair price.”
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