The engagement woes

Sundays are a working day here. But I had a late start. So picture this. I’m lazing around in bed, strolling through my phone, and i see it, and my stomach begins that familiar drop. Yes you guessed it. Another engagement. Another engagement that isn’t mine.

I find in this age of social media, there’s a desire to always be politically correct. Everyone is educated so everyone should be on their best behavior. So how do I explain feeling overjoyed for a friend whilst sinking into a kind of childish grumbling? When will it be my turn? When will I be chosen? Selfish I know. Self-centered.

I’m a proud feminist too so I feel almost a revulsion to even be thinking those kind of thoughts. Chosen? I’m not a character from pride and prejudice! I value my independence, I love making my own choices and encouraging other women to do the same and yet I feel envy. It’s hard to reconcile the two feelings so I won’t even try.

I’ll have a cup of tea for now and go off to work and when I come back, I hope the feeling has passed.