Feeling Broke & Rich

Today I feel both broke, and, rich all at once.

I feel broke because by society’s standards I am. For once I have decided to put my own self care as a priority, and that means I am slowing down to practice a mindful approach to launching a new set of offerings in my work — a deeper and more aligned layer to my approach as a coach, a healer, an experience designer — and I am building creations that feel the most authentic and true to me as I can be. Ironically I have felt that in order to work this way, I have to take a hit on all the other fronts that one could use to measure themselves as “successful” (income, # of clients, # of anything’s). I don’t got ’em right now, and I am honestly figuring out how to ‘make it’ each day as I go.

This feels hard to swallow as a typical type A overachiever … perhaps I “shouldn’t be” in the place I am right now. But I am. And, I am making this choice consciously in order to have the space I need to work deeply, creatively, mindfully, in alignment with my values. It is wild to me that in order to work this way, I feel like I have to make the choice to take a hit on all the other fronts (*this is a huge and important topic that needs to be discussed on its own). I know it is a deep privilege and freedom to make this choice in the first place. All of this makes me even more determined to offer something magical, valuable, and authentic as my contribution to the world.

What I am finding as I learn how to let go of feeling “successful” on traditional terms is that there is a another lens of success that I could use for myself — a lens of honesty, alignment, life experience, human connection — and from this perspective, I feel insanely rich.

I have had the amazing fortune to travel the world, experience other cultures and soak in the beauty of this world. I have the blessing of beautiful, supportive friendships, amazing, loving family, generous mentors and community, all of whom encourage me. I have genuine faith in myself to create something meaningful for others out of this life experience that I hold. I can make the space for myself to embrace my creative flow, and work in alignment with my values in the world. I feel connected to myself and in integrity with who I am right now, and that feels like one of the most priceless measurements of all.

These are incredibly empowering and privileged things to feel and ‘have’ in my non-bank account. I really want to count this as success.

In my realization, I also want to offer to out anyone else who feels ‘broke’ or unsuccessful by traditional standards, please give yourself the freedom to look at your life from another lens — one that feels aligned to you. Give yourself the permission to feel rich in other ways. And I mean really, truly give yourself validation and celebration for these things … your life experience, your friendships, your connections, your conversations with a neighbor, your hopes and visions for the world. They matter, and you matter for embodying them. It is radical to consider success in these ways, and I can only imagine how transformed would our world be if we allowed this to be what we uphold and celebrate as true.

I can acknowledge how odd the sensation of being both broke and rich at the same time is, yet I have to say it feels wildly freeing too.