Familiar love doesn't mean forever love

Allira Case
9 min readOct 17, 2018
Are you really attracted to that bad boy, or is it just what’s familiar

While sitting in my favorite coffee store in Brooklyn this morning, a couple sat down at the table beside me and for some reason the obvious display of affection from the male partner was making me so uncomfortable. I could clearly see the woman didn’t want the display of PDA and it was quite obvious to me, a simple bystander, that this man loved her more than she loved him.

I wanted to tell the guy to tone it down a little, that he was being a little too much for her. To me her body language was so obvious that she was forcing herself to hold his hand and be affectionate, but it wasn’t to him.

It made me realize he was in cognitive dissonance. This is a state of believing in one behavior or belief, but accepting or doing another thing.

I could see this guy wanted just the same amount of affection back and was to me so desperately trying to get it. By constantly making psst sounds to get her to look into his eyes and constantly putting his hand out for her to hold his, which she begrudgingly did.

He was accepting a lower standard of affection and love because he obviously was so in love with her.

If he was conscious to the situation, he would have a more frank conversation with her about her feelings for him and if she didn’t feel the same way about him and felt massive…

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Allira Case

Former news journalist who fell in love with fitness and made it into a lifestyle. CEO of Glute Flow www.gluteflow.com