Fish Sandwich

‘Fish sandwich. Chips. Coke’
No hello, no please, just that. He didn’t even look at me. Rude.
‘Yes, sir.’
I moved off.
It was Saturday lunch rush and hectic, so I didn’t give him too much thought. In general I was chronically exhausted, but when the rush is on you don’t really feel it. Maybe six months into transition I’d taken this second job, working two evenings and weekends—gender transition is expensive, and there are a lot of competing pressures. Between the two jobs and looking after my daughter and dealing with the stresses of learning to move through this culture as a woman I was having trouble keeping it together, but really, things were going pretty well, and today was a good day. His foul mood didn’t get to me.
I set his order in front of him with a smile and put some lilt into my voice—
‘Can I get you anything else?’
He glanced at me this time, with a tight half-smile.
‘No.’
No thank you, but I flashed him another smile anyway and moved on to my next table. I was getting pretty good at this.
If I’m honest, I didn’t take this job just for the money. I had been living fully as a woman less than half a year and I was looking for experience, looking to pick up some of the formative education I’d missed out on. Being in a service role and interacting with the public as a woman, this felt like an important lesson. Actually, I enjoyed it, much more than I’d expected. The response I received was affirmative, and my role was beginning to feel pretty natural. I felt…competent. With all the fear and uncertainty in my life, more than any other thing, this work and my customers told me girl, you can do this.
Surveying my tables, I saw his hand in the air, fingers rubbing together. I brought him his cheque and put the charm on.
‘How was everything?’
He glanced at me again, pursed his lips, gave a curt nod. I smiled in return.
When I came round again, he was gone, exact change sitting on the ticket. I put the glass on the plate with the cutlery and picked it up. There was a twenty folded underneath.
This is #10 in the Transitional Moments series.
#1: Livename, #9: The Birth, #11: Plait
Major monthly financial support is provided by Jayne Tucek, Lis Regula, Beth Adele Long, Maya Stroshane, Stevie Lantalia Metke, and J. Morefield.
I make a spare living doing this. You can support my work and get draft previews and my frequent ‘Letters Home’ for less than the cost of a coffee.
