Allison Washington
Aug 26, 2017 · 2 min read

Thank you Galen.

Not only do I care for him, I am in love with him, and he with me. Which would be unmitigated bliss were it not, as you point up, for the forthcoming conversation.

And there is no ‘probably’ about it: I need to give him all of me. I lived in ‘deep stealth’ in earlier relationships, out of fear, but I can no longer. I will love freely this time. I am strangely optimistic.

Plus there is the minor detail of my profession. He knows I am a writer and he has been exceedingly tolerant of my reticence to discuss my work (for nearly a year now!). I have simply said that my work is exceedingly intimate, and that there are conversations we need to have before I am comfortable opening that up to him. And he accepts this with grace. (Do you see what I mean about this guy?!) Thus my optimism in re the conversation.


As to who should disclose first — yes, absolutely the person who is oh-so-worried and also by default completely safe.

The proposition seems silly or flippant in the same way that all new assertions by the oppressed initially seem silly or flippant — I remember the adoption of ‘Ms’ and the repudiation of human=‘man’ being poo-pooed; I remember the substitution of ‘black’ for ‘negro’ being ridiculed. (And women voting? Don’t make me laugh.) Don’t get me started on ‘consent’…

How’s a girl to know, indeed? As I said in the companion article About your shitty no-trans dating policy…

…the solution is simple: Instead of expecting a trans woman to literally endanger herself with every potential bigot she dates, all you need do is state your no-trans ‘preference’ up front to every woman you date. End of discussion.

Seems perfectly reasonable to me. :-)

Again, Galen, thanks for writing.

❤ Allison

)

Allison Washington
Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade