Let’s Talk About The Good Guys

Let’s have a toast for the douchebags
Let’s have a toast for the assholes
Let’s have a toast for the scumbags
Every one of them that I know
Let’s have a toast for the jerk-offs
That’ll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can
-Kanye West

Disrespectful, chauvinistic, and poorly-behaving men are getting WAY too much attention right now. We’re constantly talking about them, debating over and analyzing their actions, oftentimes even making excuses for them.

Why is this such a hot topic?

Well, you know why. The video. YES, THAT ONE. I already wrote about it over the weekend so I won’t get into it again (you’re welcome), but the video in question and what was said in it has been discussed ad nauseam since it was leaked Friday night. Hell, if you watched the second Presidential debate Sunday night you know that our Republican candidate dismissed it repeatedly as “locker room talk.

My reaction? Well, let’s just say I share the same sentiment expressed in this tweet:


I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the weekend — more than I care to admit — and it got me thinking about the men in my life. Ones I know well, ones I don’t, ones I’ve met only once or a handful of times and ones I’ve never even met at all.

And the thing is, I KNOW bad men. I’ve met, encountered and had uncomfortable, scary and demeaning situations with some of them. But here’s the deal: I don’t wanna give these kinds of people any more airtime. Even though Kanye asked me to, I don’t want to toast to them. Instead, I wanna toast to the good guys:

  • The ones who would never speak about a woman in a derogatory fashion.
  • The ones who are respectful, chivalrous and polite. Even behind closed doors or in private.
  • The ones who understand consent and what the word “no” means.
  • The ones who make you feel safe and secure.
  • The ones who put women on a pedestal.
  • The ones who stand up for women’s rights and believe we should have the ability to make decisions about our own bodies.
  • The ones who RESPECT women’s bodies.
  • The ones who would never catcall, harass or make a woman feel helpless, scared or attacked.
  • The ones who don’t lie, manipulate or pretend to be someone they’re not in order to get a woman in bed.
  • The ones who are great role models to their children — especially daughters — and teach them to demand respect and also to respect others.
  • The ones who never use the words “slut,” “whore,” “bitch” or “cunt.”
  • The ones who show affection and pay genuine compliments.
  • The ones who say, “text me when you get home.”
  • The ones who properly and maturely handle rejection; whether they’re on the giving or receiving end of it.
  • The ones who aren’t threatened by strong women, don’t condescend, constantly interrupt or demean.
  • The ones who would never tell you to “smile” simply because your normal resting face offends them.
  • The ones who wouldn’t defend or condone inexcusable and inappropriate behavior.

Let’s praise these men. Let’s toast to them. Let’s find the ones we know in our lives and let them know we appreciate them, and that we’re sorry about all the other dudes out there giving them a bad name.

We know you guys are out there.

Thank you.

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