Want To Be a Better Leader? Become a Better Listener With Patience and Lots of Practice

Listening is a hot topic in leadership development these days. Almost every article written about how to become a more effective leader includes improving listening skills as one of the top priorities.
Because the industry is becoming more aware of the importance of listening as a key leadership capability, I’m often asked to conduct a single event, such as a workshop, keynote, or webinar that will improve listening skills. Of course I’m glad to honor the request and facilitate a workshop or training, but I don’t want to mislead anyone into thinking there’s a simple cure or magic bullet for becoming a better listener. Every person has a unique way of listening that determines what we tend to listen “to” and “for,” what we might miss and when we might shut down or stop listening in conversation. We develop these listening habits over a lifetime. Just like learning to play a sport or an instrument, improving or shifting our listening requires diligence, focus and practice.
While I am certainly not discouraging companies from offering one day listening workshop for their teams, I am suggesting that companies adopt listening intelligence as a part of their culture and make a commitment to continued training and development.
Workshops absolutely help people learn about the science and art of listening and gain greater awareness of their own listening habits and how that might impact how they work with or manage others. Without that initial learning and greater awareness, there is no foundation on which to hone their listening skills. Learning listening techniques and tools are crucial because skilled listeners have a variety of approaches to use in any situation and know which ones to pull out of the toolbox and when.
An individual’s listening profile impacts how they make decisions, their relationships, and influences their contribution in collaborative settings. Once we have a baseline of awareness, every interaction is an opportunity to practice a listening skill. For example, one of the tools we teach in workshops is to slow down and ask clarifying questions before forming explanations or opinions or making decisions. Given our current culture of speed in business, teams often feel pressure to quickly make a decision and then immediately jump into action. Taking the time to pause, ask questions and gather important information verses making a potentially hasty decision creates more successful outcomes with measureable ROI.
The following piece about Practice relates to why we encourage companies to adopt listening as a core business value.
Fable about the Benefits of Practice
Told by: Eric Scott, CEO — Dolphin Micro Custom Software
An old teacher of mine told me a story that stuck with me the rest of my life: A pottery teacher split her class into two halves. To the first half she said, “You will spend the semester studying pottery, planning, designing, and creating your perfect pot. At the end of the semester, there will be a competition to see whose pot is the best.” To the other half she said, “You will spend your semester making lots of pots. Your grade will be based on the number of completed pots you finish. At the end of the semester, you’ll also have the opportunity to enter your best pot into a competition.” The first half of the class threw themselves into their research, planning, and design. Then they set about creating their one, perfect pot for the competition. The second half of the class immediately grabbed fistfulls of clay and started churning out pots. They made big ones, small ones, simple ones, and intricate ones. Their muscles ached for weeks as they gained the strength needed to throw so many pots. At the end of class; both halves were invited to enter their most perfect pot into the competition. Once the votes were counted, all of the best pots came from the students that were tasked with quantity. The practice they gained made them significantly better potters than the planners on a quest for a single, perfect pot.
In life, the best way to learn a skill is to make a lot of pots.
Listening habits don’t change overnight, but with awareness it becomes easier to pull out the right listening tool when it’s needed. Like with any endeavor, the more often it’s practiced, the more natural and effective it becomes.
It is unbelievably rewarding to see the changes in yourself and others as your listening practice shapes your performance. I invite you to continue your practice and develop your listening as a hard business skill!
I would love to hear about the most impactful listening skills you’ve learned. Please post your comments and thoughts.
Learn more about the ECHO Listening Profile here.