This Getting Old Thing (or what I am doing in 2016)
Recently I added beekeeping to the list of things that I do. It came about as a bit of vertical integration after my mead making became locally popular. Why pay for somebody else’s honey when I can have bees to make my own. I had the same opinion of eggs, but apparently my partner has some rare condition where the sound of chickens is the worst noise in the world and must be silenced. Thank goodness bees know how to keep their beak’s shut (really REALLY bad apiarist pun there).
Before I took possession of the bees I naturally had to learn how to look after them. That involved lots of internet reading. One of the first surprises about bees is that they do not “just do one job”. Their roles depend on how old they are. When they are born and for the next few days they clean up their rooms. Then they feed the other bees, and it isn’t until their mid life that they get to leave the hive and enjoy the freedom (and danger) of flying outside to collect pollen, nectar and water.
This division of what you do determined by where you are in your life timeline resonated with me. I am trying…yes tryingggggggggggg, to get my arse into gear and write and art on a daily basis. These things are not unpleasant but as soon as I try a barrier goes up. A rubbery force shield that starts making housework look like a fun thing to do. Sure, everyone who tries to create has this and writing about it, while adding to my wordcount, is probably still more fun for me to do than to read about it (sorry dear reader).
So what to do? I keep running up to the creative edge, looking over and then backing away. This is a bad habit. I must remove it from my repotoire. I must NOT forgive myself for being imperfect, but whip myself harder and harder until the pain of not doing is worse than the pain of doing.
To break this habit I am going to start thinking about my role in life in a different way. Now is the time to add words and art to the world and there’s not a damn thing I can do to stop that, that I just let it flow.
But first, I must clean this office!