Oh, sweetheart. You are so entitled. $8.15 after taxes? My husband makes $9.40 before taxes and our rent was always more expensive than yours. (I’m a “cliche” teacher, which, incidentally helps me take care of my student loans, so we could afford our rent.) We have never owned a car, even though we now have a toddler. Try it — public transportation is cheaper.
Why do you think that you shouldn’t have to work for a year in customer service? Why are you better than that? Why do you deserve to have strangers pay you? File for unemployment. Or — gasp — get a job. Any job will do while you’re searching for the work you actually want to do. #goals.
It was irresponsible of you to move on your credit card. You shouldn’t have taken a rent that is so expensive. Don’t start about the rent being too high. You chose to move the the city with the highest housing cost in the country.
Here’s conversation that everyone who does not live in San Francisco has had: “Ugh. I wish I could move to SF. It’s a great city.” “Yeah, but housing is so expensive.” “Yeah, I know!” [Makes a better decision.]
The hardest thing about leaving college is realizing that no one has to give a s*** about you, including your workplace. (PS: the fact that you have “amazing” benefits and free food — coconut water!? listen to yourself — at work is probably why your pay is so “low.”)
Eat that rice, then eat your words. You made a series of poor financial decisions and now you’re paying for them.
Here’s the rub: You’re either responsible for your life — including your bad choices — or you’re not. If the latter is the case, then you’re not really cut out to be a successful person, are you? I understand being unhappy (suicidal) and being in a toxic environment. But there’s no RA in the adult world. If bad things happen to you, you can either fix them or not. Your unhappiness (or victimization, or family dysfunction, or mental health) is not a concern of the world at large. I learned that the hard way.
As you say about yourself, you’re better at thinking about things than actually doing them. Could that quality be in any way responsible for the predicament you are now in?
(Aside: if your goal is to be a freelance writer, you probably don’t want a complaint about your employer to be your most famous piece. After all, you will be working for clients, and you’ll have to please them if you want to make money.) Welcome to the real world!
I hope you get the help you need. Good luck.