Say “NO” to have a better life.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you’ve felt powerless and agreed to do something that ruined your day and put you in a bad mood? Do you replay that scenario, wishing you had said “No” instead of being too polite or afraid to speak up?

Well, welcome to the group. We all have been in that situation one day or another. It’s really annoying when someone else tries to dictate our lives. It’s upon us to take back control, as someone else won’t do it. It can be done by denying.

Saying “NO” is a kind of art that some people lack. No worries; this guide is your one-stop solution to the problem.

Photo by Gemma Evans on Unsplash

Here are some tips for becoming your own master.

When to say

• If something obstructs the natural flow of your mind and work processes, say NO.
• If something consumes most of the time, leaving no space for family, friends, and yourself, say NO.
• If something requires a sacrifice of another task for its completion, disturbing your mood and causing you future trouble, say NO.
• And, if you don’t like that person, you must definitely say NO.

How to say

Denying doesn’t create a bad reputation, but the way it is said does. It is essential to be polite and respectful unless the person you’re dealing with is the least needed in your life.

1. To colleagues, clients, or business people -These individuals will be with you for a long time. Fear of creating a lousy reputation bares you from turning them down and eventually accepting their work. So politely decline their request. You have the choice to disclose the reason or not. Following are the expression that you could use.

• I am honoured, but I can’t.
• I’ve other commitments this week.
• Thankyou for considering me, but I can’t.
• I wish there were two of me to do both things at once.
• I am at capacity right now; I can’t add things.
• My calendar is complete at the moment. Please get back to me in a week or a month.

1. To friends and family — Sometimes, it can be difficult, but there are occasions when denial is necessary. Rather than a cold denial, it is better to express the reason behind it as they are near and dear. But it’s your choice. It would be best to find ways to deny them according to their personality and behaviour.
2. To strangers and salesman — You may receive offers for services or products or requests for favours, but you can quickly decline them as there are no obligations attached to the individuals making these requests. If someone persists, kindly refuse them repeatedly. For instance, use these expressions — “NO, I am not interested in this” or “I’m sorry, but I’m not interested in this.”
3. To manipulative people — These individuals are difficult to refuse. They will employ every tactic to persuade you to do the work. Bluffing with random statements and fabricated stories will not be effective. They are skilled at identifying inconsistencies and may attempt to entice you back into the deal until you divulge the true reason for declining. You could ask for some time to consider the request and then craft a strong story to decline the project. Be prepared with stories and practice in front of the mirror for any similar situation like this in the future.

Why to say

1. Say “NO” to free yourself from any unnecessary workload and make room to say true yes to the things that really matter.
2. Focus on saying “No” to others and yourself. Doing multiple things will lead you to multiple directions reaching nowhere. When you try to be all things to all people, you end up being nothing at all. The issue is not a lack of focus but rather a dispersion of attention toward unnecessary matters. You need to put a bullet in the head of some of these craps, eventually pissing people off, but it is necessary.
3. By declining, you’re doing excellent service, allowing them to find someone who would work with great dedication.

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

Final words

Living in fear of exploitation is more damaging than exploitation itself. Saying “NO” is like turning down an opportunity to do something exciting. It’s like building a wall around you, preventing yourself from enjoying life. It is vital to have a small group of trustworthy individuals to whom you can say “Yes”, and it won’t be exploited, letting you live life to the fullest.