
An open letter to the people voting against marriage equality
Hey my names ally and I’m a gay woman. I grew up in a strict catholic family and went to a catholic primary and high school.
Thankfully I went to a very accepting high school where I met all walks of life and diversity was celebrated.
I was 14 when I first time I realized I had feelings for a girl. I didn’t know what it was at the time but I can remember that exact moment I got butterflies and I blushed, and when I realized I had blushed, I blushed even more. This was my very first crush.
As the years went on and my feelings towards girls grew stronger, my inner turmoil did too. I didn’t want to bring shame to my family so I started self harming to make the feelings go away.
They didn’t, they just got stronger until I gave in and I kissed a girl for the first time when I was 15. It felt magical, it felt like the whole world melted away, my heart fluttered, my knees went weak, then i remembered that I was doing something wrong. That was ‘against God’ or so I was thought.
So I suppressed these feelings and drank, and drank and drank until I couldn’t feel anything anymore.
This went on for years, it was my little secret up until now, only a few people knew.
Then I realized I had no choice but to find a guy I could be with, to make all these feelings disappear. I met this lovely guy and we got on really well, I loved his family and it felt like I blinked and 5 years had passed and I was engaged.
Every time I went to plan the wedding, i couldn’t. I would either throw up, make an excuse or drink (a lot).
I love my family and I knew, that if I ever came out things would never be the same again.
I stayed on this path despite feeling miserable. I didn’t feel worthy of true love. I desperately wanted out, I just didn’t think it was possible.
That was until I met a someone and all those feelings that felt when I was 14 flooded back to me. She came into my life to highlight what needed to be changed. But could I?
So I had reached a cross roads, do I keep my family happy whilst going down this path of self destruction or do I come out and live my truth?
I decided Enough was enough and it was time to come out. I did end up loosing my family in the process. There were some hurtful words exchanged (and that’s putting it lightly).
This caused my mental health to deteriorate rapidly, I drank myself into oblivion most nights. My anxiety and depression was the worst it’s ever been, I honestly felt like my world was falling apart.
It was probably one of the darkest times in my life.
Fortunately I had a great support network of friends I call family and I now have an amazing partner, who continues to stand by me, through everything.
This was such a hard time for me. I felt so conflicted, I really felt like I was doing something wrong. My heart was breaking because of the hurt my family caused. It has been a long hard road.
Thank fully I have come out the other end and have reconnected with my family. Our relationship is healing and most importantly my relationship with myself is healing. I finally feel confident and happy with my sexuality.
I know for a fact that Jesus and God loves me exactly for who I am because I am a loving, compassionate and caring human being. I am a good Christian.
I’m one of the lucky ones, did you know that the LGBTI community have the largest suicide rates. Mental health is of a massive concern within the LGBTI community.
I’m sharing this story with you because I want to show you that I’m no different to you. I want to love and be loved. I want to walk down the street and hold my girlfriends hand without getting glared at, or be able to go out at night without feeling like I might get beaten up, just for loving who I love
We who are a part of the LGBTI community are no less human than you are.
So will you be voting for love or hate in this plebiscite?
Love,
Ally