I’d like to feel better, so I need to get something off my chest.
We had a long and lovely story. 8 long years. Almost a decade. I can’t tell you how happy I am to have memories that I can look back on and smile about. The days we spent together were some of the happiest and best days of my life. But then again, we should start something new than imprison ourselves in hoping for the impossible.
For awhile, I hated myself for breaking up with you. And then I’ve started examining myself “did I make the right decision?”.
It wasn’t easy for me. I’ll admit, I miss you everyday — it is the sweetest yet the most heart breaking pain. And everytime that I miss you there’s a silent ache in my heart which is definitely unbearable. Sometimes I want to cry out loud and sometimes I feel like sitting quite and just recall those beautiful moments. Remembering all the things that went wrong and the reason of why it has become like this, blaming myself from time to time, it’s the shittest part of it!
What am I supposed to do? We’re like repeating the same mistakes all over again, repeating the same heartbreak certain. That’s what it really comes down to: It’s not my heart that I’m worried about, but yours. And I can’t afford to see you falling into pieces again and again.
Then one day, I woke up and realized that it was the best decision I ever made because you deserve better than me. I also want you to learn to love and value yourself even more, because that’s what you deserve. I care for you and you should not settle for a relationship that is not strong. I love you, but you deserve someone else.
You walked out my life, not just one, because you were also my bestfriend.
It hurts because I lost the person I always enjoyed spending time with, laughed with and created incredible memories with. We’ve been through so much, you know that. We were there for each other in the best of times and through the most difficult of times. Most importantly, I lost the most important person to me. I lost a person who brought happiness to my world.
How I wish we could be part of ourlives, but I know that is impossible for now. And we are better off as far apart as possible.
Our relationship was not a failure; it just wasn’t meant to last forever. We belong to someone else. Someone we can be much happier with through the roller coaster ride of our lives. Someone who can accept us and help us grow.
I’m left with only two words for you: Thank you.
Thank you for sticking around. Thank you for loving me the way you did.
You’ve been a great part of my life and I will forever be thankful for the relationship we had and the things I learned. You allowed me to grow and find myself. You allowed me to experience true happiness.
You are truly one of a kind. You are amazing. And I hope you realize that you deserve nothing but the best in this life.
This is not a goodbye because I would still like to see you again. Know that you’ll always hold a place in my heart.
See you when I see you.