The Attack of Extreme Consciousness

I don’t know how to start this medium, but I guess I already did it with this method.

Back in the days — or actually, currently, whenever I try and execute an action, I keep thinking about what would people think. I keep thinking what their reactions might be.

To be honest, it’s actually hard to be in this kind of state. Knowing that you’ll have to think about your actions multiple times (not just twice, nor thrice) makes myself in a dimension of an everyday struggle.

How I wish that I didn’t need to be like this. To keep analyzing everything before execution however, I have to go on. Because of the society I’m presently living at, is, well, unfortunately, really a judging society. Now I won’t be that guy that says he doesn’t judge people at all; I just can’t stand the fact that people will always nitpick.

Coming from a personal experience, being an inhabitant of a populace where I’m not really accepted at, is making me an introvert. There are a lot of reason, but having different indifferences. Though you call that diversity, I call that a torture in my social freewill.

The overall idea of freedom is absolutely overwhelming. It’s so exhilarating. But it can’t work in this age of time. You’ll always need to find a way to stop the negative stuff.

One thing I know for sure is that I just can’t always expect 100% positive feedback from all the people around me. There will always be criticizing, nitpicking, and the like. I’m fine with that.

Now that the main point of this medium is about how overly conscious I’am about myself. I can’t stand getting nitpicked on, I don’t know why. The only “freedom” I’m waiting for is a magical scenario why I would only need to think twice not multiple times.

One thing I know for sure is that I just can’t always expect 100% positive feedback from all the people around me. There will always be criticizing, nitpicking, and the like. I’m fine with that.

But that thing I’m waiting for is bland to happen in the near future. I have to get used to it. Someday, I know, I’ll be able to do whatever actions I find ethical without needing the contemplation about how people would react around me.

And to finally conclude this medium…the problem’s on myself. Stop being overly conscious about yourself. Live your life how you want it to be. As long as you know everything you do’s ethical, you’re fine. Don’t let people put a barricade on your way to the your freedom. You hear me, Aleine.

** I’m an amateur writer. Just trying to learn from myself. Contemplate about my life. I’m into pushing out brain farts. Pardon for the possible grammatical errors in this medium.