Aloysius Ng
Jul 10, 2017 · 4 min read

Asian Youth Championships 2017

it’s been a really great experience, during this competition. i kinda had like mixed feelings, which i felt pissed at certain things and upset.

i told myself, i can do it. this was one of the major events that sparked me to even have the courage start on something that i gave up on. from day 1 when i touched climbing again, i felt a strange feeling, it felt as if it was my first time climbing. honestly, during the start i was really anxious to get back to where i was, to catch up to my peers of even the best climbers. it wasn’t easy, trying my best to control my emotions, every single training was harsh on me both physically and emotionally. and i felt like i was an outcast too. i couldn’t share my feelings to my peers as they probably wouldn’t feel me. all i did was just to rage and punch the wall, because i was pissed with myself. “why am i so useless?”

passion. Climbing is something that comes to me very naturally. however, my passion for climbing have subsided last year 2016, that was when i really gave up. now & then, i tried to look for it. i see passion in climbing as the friends we make, the fun we had. but true enough, it doesn’t feel the same anymore. those close peers, the ones that were there to push me, have fun with me, they don’t feel the same anymore. i’m not sure if i’m sensitive or they do judge me because of what i was or used to be.

injury. throughout my climbing years, i have sustained little injury. but this one got really bad. it is something on my tailbone, obstructing my body movements and even simple thing like walking or sitting down. well, i chose not to consult a doctor as to me, it might not be serious and probably just go away in a few days. the pain just keep coming back. and i tried to keep it well during training because i’m afraid of voicing it out. to me, if i choose to say it out that it hurts fucking bad, people will just think i’m not putting in enough effort or i “GENG” sick. i chose to hide all those pain, i’d probably teared up because of the intense pain. what else could i expect. few days to AYC, if i see a doctor as if it is something bad, people probably get me banned from joining and i will received hell lots of nagging from my mum. surprisingly, the tailbone injury didn’t get into my head as i want it badly!

the night before AYC. well i guess my immune system broke down at the wrong time.i have gotten a high fever, flu and cough. well but this still does not stop me from joining. after all, i spent alot of effort preparing myself in such a short period.

day 1 of AYC: true enough i was feeling weak throughout my body, but i just fought it by taking pills. i had little rest as we have to report early. and we have to wait for around 5 hours before i can compete in LEAD. wow! there’s no proper place for me to rest properly, and i just felt even worse. trust me, it sucks to feel ill before i even warm up. okay so during lead qualifications route 1, well i seen many youth A climbers reaching close to the top, i am rather confident and hoped for the best. i kept on telling myself it’s not that hard, i just gotta stay calm and i will have the chance for a spot in finals! Surprisingly, i fell neared the third clip which really demoralised me alot. And, my fingers were so cold by the time i walked to the wall. i really gotta work on how to do a proper warm up. Additionally, i didn’t plan much because i was still dizzy and giddy. i thought it would be like other local lead competitions where we just squeezed our way through without proper planning. after a disappointing fall on the first route, i told myself that i would probably be the last position. i totally gave up, no more fighting spirit. my mindset for the second route was really YOLO since im already one of the last ranking. although i really want to top it just for myself, i still felt a great sense of giving up. the second route was done in probably, a too relax way, where i didn’t focus much. i was so relaxed where i dropped the rope twice when i’m clipping. i was almost at the half point when my foot slip. subsequently, i just tried to forget about it, but still it was really disappointing. i compared myself again, firstly i ranked last for SG athletes, secondly, i was way better at leading in the past??? how could i even fell so low? where did my composure go???

*to be continued*

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