What finally broke my parents into getting me a dog
When you’re an only child, you become an expert at entertaining yourself. You also get really good at speaking to adults… until you become an adult and you realize how unenjoyable it can be sometimes. But, from a young age, my parents had no problem telling me I’d make one hell-of-a lawyer because, well, I’m incredibly stubborn, will argue with anyone, and I can be very persuasive. When I want something, I go after it wholeheartedly. And my 9-year-old self wanted a dog.
Record scratch. Rewind to 2004.
I was an odd child. I blame this partially on the fact that I was an only child and therefore, I spent quite a bit of time talking to my Barbies, all who led very detailed, extravagant lives. I also spent a lot of time reading. One book, in particular, was a book about every dog breed imaginable. You see, begging had not worked. Oh no, not even the puppy pout faced moved those two. So I had to change strategies and begin taking more drastic measures.
You want to know how annoying it is to be told about every dog breed, their food preferences, grooming preferences, and ancestry? Ask my mother. I knew it all! I read that book over and over and over again, memorizing as many details as possible because, if you’re gonna win a war you need to have a strong argument, and I was already outnumbered 2:1.
Flash forward several months to another average day at school. This was the age when PowerPoint was everything and we all had to learn how to use it for class projects. So, third-grade-me finally had the lightbulb moment I’d been waiting on: I was going to make the most persuasive PowerPoint presentation about why we needed a dog (they can say no to me but surely they can’t say no to themselves). Oh yes, it was a fantastic PowerPoint if I do say so myself, lost somewhere on a computer with Windows and Internet Explorer. Combine the utter annoyance I was giving them with a well-thought-out argument and very detailed slides about how I was going to take care of said dog, I waited to see if I had finally broken them. Turns out that the presentation, months of begging, on top of forcing me to move to the other side of the country, is a convincing, guilt-tripping combination.
Flash forward once more to another uneventful evening playing upstairs, completely ignorant to the man at the front door. My dad called me downstairs and said he wanted to show me something. I walk down the stairs to see a strange, older man standing in the foyer with a tiny, white puppy. I wasted no time telling my parents that we should get a dog just like that one! What I didn’t notice amidst my happiness of seeing a dog in my house was the giant, mounted video camera my dad was holding and the camera my mom was holding.
“Alyssa, it’s yours!”
Cue me dying of happiness and smothering the poor thing. It had worked!!!! Muahahahahaha!!!! It took some convincing… and a lot of begging. Not gonna lie, they gave me a run for my money, but in the end, it was worth it.
Mandy is now 14-years-old, blind in one eye, losing her hearing and has previously torn both ACLs in a single year, but otherwise, she’s the happiest, most-spoiled puppy in Oklahoma with her Tempurpedic bed. Yes, we did that, because after begging for a dog for years, you treat her like the Queen she is.
All this to say, thank you Powerpoint Presentation. I don’t believe I could have done it without you!