To Chairman Don
My response to his interview with David Muir and other topics addressed by the Chairman this week
Dear Chairman Don,
You are such a smart man and speak so eloquently. Thanks for explaining everything clearly during Muir’s interview. The American people deserve the very best from you. You certainly delivered just that. Very concise. I can’t help but wonder where Mr. Muir got his journalist degree? Probably some brick and mortar school. No matter.
I know you are going to fix all the BIG problems in the world that you identified so clearly. I mean BIG BIG problems, like the ones those generals told you about.
You already fixed at least one hundred problems- and wow, you just got started! How can a man like you, so successful, so God fearing, so patriotic, so honest, do anything but help our country over the next 4 years?
Nationalists are even on board with you! Whatever you are doing must be right. I looked up nationalists online, very intellectual folk. Definitely good people to have on your side. Superiority over all other countries. Amerikkkuh!
I mean you totally have led a life so far that is comparative to all the patriotic, successful, God fearing, honest folks I’ve known in my life. Maybe with the exception that they paid taxes and to my knowledge never disrespected women, but anyway… Chairman Don, it’s my pleasure to have you represent me.
Reminds me of another Chairman, Chairman Mao. It’s evident you are much kinder and more tolerant than Mao because waterboarding has nothing on Mao’s skills. Architect famine, and then let’s compare?
You’re probably far less corrupt, too. Regardless, I’m sure you and him would have gotten along well. He lead this movement called The Great Leap Forward and his people loved and honored him for it. I just know our people will love and honor you and your movement the same way.
Chairman Mao’s country has a wall, too. But I don’t remember who paid for it. Not important. I think now it generates tourist dollars. Always thinking ahead, aren’t you?
Also, now that science is out — such a blessing, really. (I don’t think Chairman Mao liked science either. He probably preferred alternative facts just like you!) Legislation will be a lot easier for you. Maybe we could start getting rid of folks who share actual facts? Books with facts in them? Or wait, that was one of the things you kind of did already? Deny climate change. You’re really on top of everything, aren’t you?
I love that you are also making decisions for women and immigrants. I totally get that they can’t be trusted. They should not be allowed to make decisions about their life. Keep that to the old, Christian, white guys. They have been doing this for years and have a good decision making process.
We all know they have everyone’s best interest at heart. More so than medical professionals, scholars, scientists, and researchers. Especially when it comes to protecting fetuses, they are really doing a good job taking care of fetuses. Unless, of course, the fetus was created by rape or incest, then abort. Gross. Not a life.
Jesus sure does love that itty bitty sperm and egg if sex was consensual between non relatives though. Keep that embryo and love it, even if you can’t afford to feed, clothe, educate, or otherwise care for it the next 18 years. Best thing for woman and country. Important you note the distinction.
We are so lucky to have you leading our country and making these important decisions. Thank you for taking the time to help us tax paying people, especially the English speaking businessmen and evangelists. The folks who are more American. Way better type of people than the other folks who traveled to the United States of America, leaving their country of origin, culture, even family, to work and study for a better future.
My great-great grandparents all did exactly that. They came here from Italy, Germany, Austria, Ireland, seeking a bright future. They worked hard and I thought they were patriotic, successful, God fearing, honest, but now I’m not so sure. They were immigrants, after all. Some of my Italian family members never even learned to speak English. How un nationalistic.
Or how about helping the great people of Chicago with all that carnage? Too many guns, but wait, I thought we liked guns? No, never mind, I get it, we are better than them. The Feds just need to go to Chicago and get ‘er done. Clean that city up and make it great again. Most of those folks with the guns are descendants of slaves brought here from West Africa against their will — - essentially immigrants. Or pretty close to the same thing? Feds will clean that city up for sure. No doubt.
And current day refugees? Forget them. They don’t need a safe refuge in our country. Not in my backyard!
God bless you Chairman Don and God bless our soon to be great again country! Chairman Mao so so proud- I just know it.