Hi Jordan Bray, thanks for the mention. I think you’re right when you say we are having these conversations. All the feminists that I know have males in their lives, either through partner, friend, or family, and it’s those relationships where the nuanced, deeper, and more complicated patterns at work between men and women are often really explored.

That being said, when the author says “there was never any balance”, that is a statement that is predicated on the idea of a level playing field. Since if there was similar ground, balance would be a just and appropriate metric. But there’s not a level playing field and never has been. Until there is, the feminist movement is vital, and focusing on female emancipation is and should be a priority. Feminist theory, even in radical form, already assumes a concern for men and boys that is and should be obvious. However, in light of the greater cultural context, and in recognition of the significant ground left to cover, a feminist movement having anything other than a primarily female centric focus would be ineffective, and frankly, make no sense.

Men can put a huge dent into the toxic issues that plague traditional masculinity simply by teaching our boys and young men about healthy emotional regulation and outlet, non-violent ways to resolve conflict, the principles of affirmative consent, and respect for women as individuals with their own sexual agency that is separate and distinct from male desire. If we as men actually did that with some consistency, the “common ground-egalitarian-working-together-utopia the author seems to envision would certainly have a lot more potential.