Hi Lon,

I appreciate your comment. Your point is well taken, in that any discussion of oppression dynamics carries a risk of it being derailed into either something that was not intended, or a very weirdly self referenced conception of the original topic. As a person who was trained by The Peoples Institute to facilitate undoing racism workshops, currently doing so with college students and community groups, I’d like to think that to some degree I know what I am talking about. I don’t say that to imply that I am an expert here, but to give you a context for how I’ve arrived at my opinions. Some thoughts:

First, I strongly agree with your point of having discussion centred around the experiences and realities of those that racism effects. As Pax Ahimsa Gethen mentioned in their comment above, a central role of a white ally is to amplify voices of POC. Sometimes that can be through leveraging privilege, sometimes through active discussion, though often it can be done most effectively, as you said, by shutting the fuck up and listening.

Sometimes though, for various reasons POC are reluctant to join a discussion of that thing they live, to varying degrees, every day. Sometimes it’s because the discussion is hostile and not one that seems particularly welcoming to a POC. Or sometimes it is because the job of educating, explaining and debating is exhausting, and something a POC does every day in hundreds of unacknowledged ways. Or as I said, it could be for many many other reasons. In those cases I think it’s important to ask ourselves where our voice as a white ally is helpful and needed, where it’s helpful but potentially overshadowing the voice of a POC, or where it is not helpful at all. Those distinctions are often difficult and contextually dependent, but hugely important none the less.

The unfortunate fact is that in 2016, anything that you or I say to white people, formally or informally, can and is being said by POC, better and with actual lived experience to back it up. Part of the goal of anti-racism work is getting to a point where:

1. our white voice is not required.
2. the voice of a person of a POC to persuade white minds in need of change will be as effective or more in altering white perspectives.

Lastly, no matter how passionate or principled one feels about this topic, any white person who is serious about promoting effective anti-racism must realize that being an ally always operates from a position of deference. One that needs to be open and accepting of critique by POC.